(00:03) [Music] I’m Dr Kelly Brogan you may know me as a New York Times bestselling author of a book with an exploding pill on the cover Renegade psychiatrist pul dancer or honorary member of the disinformation Dozen what can I say I’m a born provocator I’ve spent most of my recent life exposing deceptions connecting dots and discovering the secret places my her victim is still waiting to be liberated and now I feel called to help you reclaim all of your parts your health your sexuality your power and your expression so that you can finally truly
(00:43) own yourself I want to ignite in you that inner knowing and the pulsing Vitality that lives beneath your disempowerment disconnection and resentment so that you can audaciously courageously and playfully alchemize your struggle into the specific pleasure of Who You Are this is Reclamation radio hi and welcome back to Reclamation radio I am Dr Kelly Brogan and today I would like to continue the conversation that I’m having with myself about feminism so recently I came across an influencers video named Nara Smith my daughters were
(01:28) appalled that I had never heard of her and I watched this gorgeous specimen of a pregnant woman prepare grilled cheese ostensibly for her children from like literal scratch like the bread and the cheese and the butter and she is reportedly married to a model and she has three children and whether or not this is Mormon propaganda I don’t know there something very interesting that happened in my body as I watched this video and the best I can explain it is a simultaneous experience of like feminine inadequacy and of course there’s always
(02:16) a desire under the complaint a yearning in my heart for access to the opportunity the you know Guidance the inspiration whatever it takes to create this kind of Beauty with your hands as a woman so I’ve come to this seeming counter movement of fetishized housewifery and submission to your husband and service to men and children through mostly David daa’s work on polarity through my reconception ization and deep dive into the Covenant of marriage and my lasting caveat around that is that when I’m talking about
(03:08) marriage I am at this point never talking about the legal contract in fact I have many creative ideas about what a marital contract could look like and it is probably something more like a common law trust that you open together but regardless I’ve also come to this through Rabbi Manis fredman’s work which I have talked about in previous podcasts on the Reclamation of courtship through Christian friends and I would say chiefly through my own Awakening from neoliberal feminism so this iteration This Modern expression of
(03:49) feminism in its third wave says you know what you’re welcome ladies because of the good fight fought you get to Dawn your pants suit you get to celebrate when a woman bombs innocent children in a foreign country you get to act like you don’t have a menstrual cycle you get to vote in the dog and pony show of bipartisan antics you get to pay taxes now and you get to choose to be a corporate baddy who is sharing the provider role with her husband while still managing the majority of the domestic workload and all of that
(04:26) invisible labor that women contribute okay okay apparently some married women still believe that we are in a better place when we are like literally bracing ourselves against the men that we as women are choosing to partner with choosing to marry we think that we’re in a better position when we can relish our I can do it Independence when we are bringing monetary value to the table and we are con rolling as many decisions as possible in the home and we are in effect fundamentally diminishing this man’s role his purpose his
(05:13) importance and his incentive to actualize as a man through our energy so I smell victim Consciousness in this Paradigm and a whole lot of Zero Sum games so as a student of victim Consciousness I obviously understand why this is a natural outcropping and appreciate that when you’re conditioned to believe that it’s the noble choice right to cut and burn your cancer out to lock the criminal in a cage to get the right candidate in the office and keep the wrong one out to disown the family member that you think is the root of all your
(05:58) suffering that you are likely to enter into this same psycho emotional patterning in your primary relationship the thing is that it’s a particularly dangerous game when you imagine that you can bring this Consciousness to your marriage when you imagine that being right or your relationship in general when you imagine that being right about how wronged you are will ever result in more intimacy connection ecstasy see let alone fulfillment with your man so you might be listening and say listen I don’t give a about having a harmonious
(06:38) expansive romantic Union that’s not my it’s not my thing at this moment in time maybe you have other problems to focus on or maybe you’re just one of these women who has cast all men into the reject pile the thing is whether you have sex with them or whether you won’t ever we as women walk the world we walk this plane with men and it is my firm belief that the political movement called feminism is one of the more successful psychological operations of our time women have been baited into fighting for our empowerment at the
(07:22) expense of men and I observe that it has left us exhausted bitter and resentful so in the war of the Sexes we blame as women we blame the monolith of men and there’s a blind spot to blaming all men which of course I believe is really blaming the bad daddy in this beautiful projection but we blame all men for what it seems like a very very vanishingly small percentage of men actually enjoy so most men in human history have led merciless lives like horrific lives with dangerous jobs being subjected to man-on-man violence War
(08:15) suicide these are statistical realities that Define the male experience and perhaps a very small percentage of men represent those in control but The Underdogs are certainly on both sides of the aisle so I believe we have thrown out the baby with the bath water we have cut our noses off to spite our faces and I would personally love to know what it would feel like if I was provided for and protected by a man that I had chosen that I had deemed as trustworthy and that I fully and deeply respect ECT and of course I can only make the assessment
(09:04) and choose such a man if I have done the inner work of reclaiming what psychologists call neuroception so my capacity to accurately assess safety outside of myself based on interoception or my inner scan of the cues and alarms that lead me to believe that something might be off in you know the dynamic playing out in front of me so I’d love to know what that’s like I was somebody who was understandably encouraged to establish Financial Independence for myself as a woman and trust me because of my neuroception deficits along the
(09:47) path of my romantic life Journey perhaps you might say it has definitely served me you know to be a financially independent woman however if the order of operations is self-actualization self- Reclamation as a woman and I got a little book coming out on the subject in June then this Union and the selection of a partner is something that is predicated on the establishment of true safety for yourself as a woman so this urge towards Financial Independence comes from Fear right a man who worries about gold digging women I think sees
(10:29) women as Shadow mommies who are going to consume him right and women who feel that they need to bring money to the table do so because they are too afraid of the vulnerability of receiving in the presence of what some dimension of them actually perceives as an unsafe man so when you are in your traumas you’re in your woundology yeah Financial Independence is going to make a lot of sense so is egalitarian you know finances 50-50 you know this model it is predicated on actual Warfare masquerading as romantic Union and
(11:08) choice but why are you choosing a man that you can’t depend on why does he not regard your presence as a woman as the gift as the exchange right there was a Pew study that showed it was a survey that 45% of women are now earning the same or more than their husbands but they’re still doing most of the domestic and child care work and the so-called invisible labor while their egalitarian husbands enjoy leisure time and I find this to be rather ironic to see who is benefiting no like this is the product of neoliberal feminism is this actually
(11:54) what we wanted so without this root chakra security if you will it’s very hard to create as a feminine Essence being and without our creativity our life force is choked and then we develop all sorts of so-called sicknesses and illnesses right as I’ve learned to dabble in the domestic arts and to embrace things like gardening or sewing or home decor and beautific I find myself wondering what it would be like to be you know what the kids are now calling a Trad wife which I believe stands for a traditional wife
(12:39) traditional gender roles kind of gal and I personally don’t believe in the modular family version of existence where you’re in a little box with your nuclear family I don’t know who thinks that’s a good idea and obviously we’ve been put on this as part of the atomization part of the individualization thr that has been necessary but perhaps so we can come back into honoring you know what community or I don’t use this word often but like tribal right kind of living would actually confer to our systems maybe we’re in a moment of readying to
(13:17) experience the hive a new as we learn what and where true safety comes from and that it’s h fractal that a woman offers this safety to herself to her own system that a man offers this safety to a woman and that women also in collectives in groups in Sisterhood can offer this safety to each other this containment as I prefer to call it to each other so if most men have had their struggles then most of us women have certainly had our version and if I were to sum up the plight of all women across all time it might come down to
(14:05) unsafety so a surrogate hit of safety a surrogate hit of security can undoubtedly be enjoyed through will through control and through like this assertion of rightness but is that really safety like is that really the route to sending our systems this signal that we are longing for does it ever actually work or is it something like licking an ice cream cone when you actually are thirsty for water like the lust for safety never actually has the intended result when it is secured through control and coercion so for
(14:46) example like does safety ever come from coercing compliance with oh I don’t know Public Health mandates or does it truly come from recognizing that the body doesn’t make mistakes and that infection and contagion aren’t actually what we’ve been told that is what confers the exhale the ease curiosity alignment like none of that is available when you believe in germs and you believe that everybody’s got to do the thing to make sure you don’t catch the thing so none of these feminist ideologies and there are many branches
(15:26) and offshoots of feminism at this point all of which are fueled by victim Consciousness as far as I can tell none of them seem to address our base fears and needs as women and the imperative to learn how to restore the contracts that men and women incarnated to uphold how do we move Beyond victimhood and into complimentarity with men we want the same opportunities as men yes and in many ways we have secured as much so I am certainly not somebody who’s going to sit here and say you know that the past was wrong and now we are in the right or
(16:12) that the past was right and now we are in the wrong I believe this is all according to the Grand Design and I did a podcast called the feminine Homecoming on how I see the pendulum swing as a part of the maturational process of the feminine and the masculine and so we want the same opportunities we have secured these opportunities from what I can tell across the Sexes but perhaps the deeper longing is for the safety to self-express and to do what it is that we do best to create from our hearts and to make Beauty with our bodies and to
(16:53) experience our own inner inspiration and the conditions Within in which to embody that so what if our actual Reclamation came through self honoring so that whole personal responsibility ingredient and specifically a deep self assessment of our own personal but often very Universal as women safety needs I’m curious what would happen I certainly don’t have a solution but I’m curious what would happen if we decided like if there was a sociocultural movement right to counter this atomized like individualistic like I’ll just do me
(17:38) everybody else off you know kind of choice feminism so what would happen I wonder if we decided at least some of us as women to only offer our most powerful energy our sexuality to men who would make good providers and fathers so I talked a lot about this when I did a book report on Louise Perry’s the case against the sexual Revolution and the way that I see she might be on to something in deconstructing the bait and switch of sexual Liberation and hookup culture and where we find ourselves as women so if we were only to offer our sexuality to
(18:22) men who would make good providers and fathers even if you have no intention of actually partnering or you know conceiving with this individual it might look like we are practicing what is now being called hypergamy or being tradwives or fishing for men of higher status but we may actually be restoring a system that actually works for women and children A system that recognizes like that women can really only be women when their basic needs are car for so maybe you want to after your basic needs are cared for maybe you want to run a
(19:07) seven figure business as like a girl boss right like that’s amazing I coach these Queens every day in my containers but here’s a little telegram From The Trenches okay I personally cannot imagine how much easier and more delightful it would be to live my CEO dream dreams if I didn’t have to experience the pressure of making what I call masculine money to keep the lights on for my kids and make a long list of payments while I am enjoying the opportunity that I indeed have to play this capitalist game if I were provided
(19:48) for by a breadwinner I would be truly liberated to make what would be called feminine money to allow my playful impulses free reign to expand the creative which is erotic energy field in the world you know without the constraint of survival stress and to contribute whatever it was that I wanted to financially maybe it’s just you know for vacations and gifts and beautifying the home maybe it’s just to you know grow into more abundance what ever it is but this feminine money it is not on the hustle of the lowest
(20:35) rung of the maslo hierarchy okay so I just feel like my soul would enjoy a long sought after exhale in that kind of dynamic and I believe that this exhale is designed to be offered to women in a society of initiated men incentivized to get their m maturational together by the prospect of wiing a high value woman this incentive has been dismantled and we have participated in it through these socially engineered agendas so the other day my beloved handyman was telling me that he’s considering becoming a welder because of
(21:26) how well the job pays but he was also telling me how dangerous and demanding I had no idea I don’t know anything about welding I barely know what that even means how dangerous and demanding this job is like it’s incredibly intense and I I told him I said you know I look around sometimes at all the stuff when I’m walking around the world or driving like literally all of it the buildings the roads the infrastructure of our society and I recognize that men did all of that I think about the team literal team of men that I have employed as a
(22:05) single woman to fix everything that breaks and I am so appreciative because I used to be a woman who said I don’t need men I’ve got me and he said to me we do it all for you and it was just like this most authentic spontaneous response that touched me so deeply and I felt like we had this microcosmic experience of the contract in a nutshell right women Inspire providership service and protectorship in men by simply existing and a woman’s appreciation for that closes the circuit on what I believe to be the most
(22:55) powerful free energy device there is which is manwoman polarity we have made a poor bargain as women and we have traded our wildness our Essence and our feminine connections that feed us for seeming safety in the context of fear we make like all sorts of poor Bargains and it turns out that accepting Security in the form of entitlement to be consumerist Cog to poison our bodies with birth control to have casual sex to formula feed our Nanny car taken kids doesn’t actually fulfill the primary need that we have as
(23:41) women to feel safe in order to enjoy the wonders of Womanhood security is not safety Equity is not honoring and neutralizing sex and gender differences is a Gaslight so I believe that we have the power we already have it exactly what we seek and that sovereignty that we already can Embrace and enjoy shows us that when we get right with ourselves when we align with our feminine Essence we generate safety within our own systems we can make choices that actually will give rise to the conditions for societal safety because
(24:31) the man woman diad and General Dynamic between the Sexes will be restored not even restored will be elevated to a level of maturation that hasn’t been enjoyed in human history and this I think starts with us so I would like to continue to encourage the resolution of that bitterness resentment that chip you know that feminism installs in us that says we have been wronged and it’s time for them to pay and that also says it’s better if we mimic and imitate exactly who it is that we’re afraid of it’s like wearing the monster costume on Halloween
(25:20) it’s not the way the celebration of what it is to be a woman is also something that goes beyond just having the choice to be a man-like woman or a woman-like woman right to be Nara Smith or you know some kind or me right like some kind of you know girl boss kind of a a gal there is a different way for us to embrace this opportunity that we have to play in the realm of Business and Entrepreneurship and it requires that we dissolve the illusion that you can have your home life as a mom as a wife and do also this whole corporate thing so the
(26:06) Sophie’s Choice that so many of us make I believe would be made from a different position if we recognize that securing our providership securing the essential root chakra needs before and if you got to give those to yourself then you got to give those to yourself I’ve experienced that but recognizing that when you are choosing a partner when you’re even choosing a lover right that one of the most powerfully disruptive things you could do is to take into account a man’s capacity to be a provider and a father for you before
(26:46) opening up before offering that and that is pretty much the antithesis of what’s being pushed through neoliberal you know sexual ethos and standards and expectations and I do think we have an opportunity to begin to you know create this new fabric of Womanhood that incorporates all of what we have learned and disabuses US of so many of the myths and the poison apples that we have been served around what it is that we’ve been told would make us feel free and empowered when perhaps that’s not actually we’re not
(27:25) looking for either of those things we’re actually just looking for this safety to self-express and embody so I believe that our power lies in three specific Arenas that will translate into systemic safety Collective change and the kind of feminine impulse that actually will serve our sisters and our children so one is the Reclamation of courtship as I’ve mentioned so the gatekeeping of our erotic energy based on the assessment of safety in the men that we allow erotic access to the second is the Reclamation
(28:05) of the Covenant of marriage and specifically the way that we as women can choose to get in our lane and align with our state of desires to experience the power of the man that we have chosen and to end cycles of this motherson Dynamic that is not a great look for either of the parties involved it doesn’t serve us and it doesn’t serve our men Laura Doyle is one of the foremost resources that I’ve identified to help women recognize the power that we have to invite the kind of marital experience most of us would say that we
(28:51) want to have and are actually acting in opposition to on The Daily so number three is what I would call The Sovereign mothering of sons I don’t have a son I’ve never had the direct experience but I do know that this is one of the systemic roots of the unsafe world that we live in as women so I think that as women choose to do the work that I’m doing the work that I support other women in doing this self-discovery self-regulation emotional self- intimacy we will no longer mother sons from um the shadow Realms of our fear and
(29:32) because women will no longer castrate their boys energetically and demand that they regulate their mother’s emotional systems boys will learn healthy aggression and they will grow to have intimacy with their Darkness so Jordan Peterson says that you can’t trust a man unless you know that that man can kill and is choosing not to so I think with those three ingredients men will grow to self- tame to self-initiate and to come into Brotherhood again that will bring their hearts back online and that will serve to restore the union of the
(30:19) Sexes that I know in my heart is possible until next time
