(00:00) Hi and welcome back to Reclamation Radio. I am Dr. Kelly Broen and what I love about my containers is that the women I attract always have some audacious questions to ask me. So, it’s my intention for the musings that I share on these topics to grow the permission field of what’s possible and also to offer relatable reframes that can jailbreak you from your victim stories.
(00:28) So, you might notice that I’m a bit more familiar and free when I’m answering these questions in our private spaces. So, take a listen and I hope you’ll take the opportunity to submit your questions to me in my membership Vital Life Project. Today’s question, I’m currently single and when it comes to career, I want to know how you prioritize things that bring you joy and also simultaneously allow you to pay the bills while still maintaining that feminine flow. I love this question.
(00:53) I have dear friends who can relate you know very intimately to what you’re describing which is I ha if I could paraphrase like I have a sense that there is a more beautiful fulfilling and pleasurable spacious life experience available to me and I have no idea how to get there from where I am in my I don’t know if it’s a 9 to5 but like you know in my 9 to5 paying the bills and where is the room for me to like you know, self-pleasure for 3 hours on a Wednesday, Kelly, cuz I actually have to, you know, answer because living a
(01:30) life where you’re totally like in control of your time and you are the one who designs your day, it sounds great. And for many of us, it’s way too much. Way too much freedom, way too too many variables to determine. There’s way too much room to confront the part of us that thinks we’re going to do that wrong.
(01:53) right? Like what if I get there, I make this life, I trust the universe, like I even make sacrifices and and then I don’t even know how to live, you know, an empowered, pleasure-filled life. Like there is a part of you, I imagine, that is worried about that. And so as you grow your capacity to appreciate what’s going on right now, right, in in all of its shittiness, that will only help you bridge from where you are now to where you’re going.
(02:23) What happened where I get caught sometimes, right? Like I want to move, right? and and so I’ve been in this practice of like appreciating aspects of my current home and home experience and then I am like oh but that’s going to mean you know subconsciously I’m going to attach to this and then the universe is going to think that I want to stay here but I don’t want to stay here so I don’t like it you get that message I don’t like it I want something different right but that’s that’s not how it works you know and Esther Hicks talks about this all
(02:51) the time obviously it’s her whole message which is that you know getting into was also sematic experiencing messaging like getting into the feeling of what it is that you think is over there you can start to do now right so I’ve talked about this in BLP before but like let’s say I want like this really bright kitchen like a bright white kitchen and right now my my kitchen’s very gray and like kind of like dark and I don’t like it right okay so I’m going to wait for the white kitchen and when I have the white kitchen then I’ll be
(03:22) happy or is there any way I can bring the experience of a bright white kitchen, right? What if I get those like pretty jars that like fancy ladies put like seeds in and Like what if I, you know, I ended up painting a brick wall white? You know what? It changed my life. And why the hell am I painting something that I’m going to like sell soon or whatever? Because now matters.
(03:48) Because today matters. And because you’re not living your life for when it happens. That’s just lame, right? So, today matters and you’re going to find little ways to bring the experience of this this life you imagine is out there into your life today. But first, there’s a couple things you might want to like journal about, right? One is what do you think is over there? All right.
(04:14) What becomes available to you through this life that you want? So, first you describe the life like literally what time do you wake up? What kind of underwear do you put on? What toothpaste do you use? You know, what does your perfect day look like? Like, let’s say it’s coming in five years. So, five years on a Tuesday, you’re gonna you’re gonna tell yourself exactly how that Tuesday is going to look.
(04:35) And then you’re going to say, “Okay, so who gives, right? What that was like a ‘9s flashback expression. You have to recognize what you’re going to get from that that you don’t have now. You think, okay, so I’m going to feel free. I’m gonna feel empowered. I’m gonna feel sexy. Whatever. Okay? And get as specific as you can.
(05:02) I’m gonna really love being able to like wake up and do whatever I want until 11:00 a.m. or I’m going to really, you know, so what are you going to get from that that you don’t have now? And then is there any way that you could bring little bits of that stuff, those feelings into your life right now? Right? So, I’ll give you an example.
(05:22) I wanted um to feel like this like safe erotic love experiencing this new partnership, right, that I’m going to have. So, let’s say safety. I want to feel safety. Of course, we talked about ways to create safety for ourselves, but on a very literal level, how can I create more safety for myself in my life? I came up with the fact that I feel relatively unsafe and guarded all the time in my house because I don’t know when my pool guy is going to come clean my damn pool cuz he just like come he just like comes in the backyard. And all I had to do was
(05:57) call the company and say, “Listen, I need to be informed an hour before he shows up at least.” They were like, “No problem. Now I feel safer.” Right? So that’s what I mean. It’s not like you’re going to like bring like a couple of hours of the amazing life into your shitty life. It’s not like that. It’s like what do you get there? How can you bring yourself little flavors of it now with little changes, right? I want like harmony in my life, right? And and peace, right? I I drive a car and it like makes all these insanely neurotic
(06:33) anxious noises. Like anytime I’m even remotely close to anything, it’s like a joke with my girls. Like it’s it’s so she’s so anxious that she’s like an entity in our like family, right? She’s like it’s beeping. Okay, I’ve had this car for 2 years. Finally, I valued my here and now experience cuz of course I’m fantasizing about my next car, but my lease isn’t up. Whatever.
(06:57) My here and now experience. I took 10 minutes to research how to modify the volume, the tone, and to turn some of them off. That took 10 minutes. My entire quality of life is different because of that. I’m serious. Right? So, there are these little ways that you can just start to attend specifically to bring yourself aspects of the experience that you imagine are only available.
(07:20) And then lastly, what are you getting out of where you are now? We always get our needs met. Not always in the ways we want them to be, right? But what are you getting out of your situation right now that would actually be lost if you were to change and grow into this new life? Structure, stability, you know, reputation, whatever, feedback, whatever it is.
(07:45) There are things that you’re getting that you’re going to have to find elsewhere or provide for yourself. So, what are you getting out of your situation that you say you don’t like right now? And you know, yeah, there are it’s like two sides, right? Like there are things that we say we don’t want that we actually do and need. And then there are things that we say we want that we actually don’t and can’t handle.
(08:05) And so the process of just at least being aware that that’s true, that helps. But then also the process of like really getting some gaining some intimacy. Um, that’s why I love Caroline Elliott’s exercise called um, deepest fear inventory where you basically you know it. So you basically just like write out like I I want to work for myself. Okay, that’s it. Right.
(08:28) So then you say I absolutely refuse to work for myself because I have a deep fear that I will. Da da da. And then you just make your list and you do it every day for a week until you’re like, okay, got it. I didn’t actually want that thing. Okay, I’m gonna now align with the good feelings I say are over there in my life now and I’m going to know it’s coming because it is.
(08:51) You wouldn’t want it if it wasn’t coming. It’s coming. It’s coming. You know, and how and what the journey is going to look like. It’s not really up to you. And that’s where of course this like deep bell surrender I referenced and and really finding whatever it is that you call your connection to something bigger. Finding God. It’s the moment, ladies.
(09:12) It is the moment, you know, to walk a walk. Like, do you really do you really trust? Of course, it’s trusting the masculine, right? Like, do you really trust that we are in that container that is leakproof? Do you really trust that you know you are supported, protected, provided for that nothing is ever going to happen that you can’t handle and that everything that happens is what you want.
(09:36) It’s tough, but it helps when you can start to like get into the practice of it. It’s funny actually. It becomes fun. So, people love to ask me questions and I love to ask questions of others because inquiry is play. But some of my interviews and answers are too hot to handle for Reclamation Radio. So in my membership vital life project, I have created a private podcast that gets delivered to wherever you listen to podcasts where I answer your questions that arise because of my provocative subject matter and I also share interviews that might
(10:07) otherwise be censored that I call the sovereignty series. So you’ll get access to these private podcasts and a private chat by joining my membership vital life project. I’ll see you in there. [Music]
