(00:00) [Music] I’m Dr Kelly Brogan you may know me as a New York Times bestselling author of a book with an exploding pill on the cover Renegade psychiatrist pull dancer or honorary member of the disinformation Dozen what can I say I’m a born provocator I’ve spent most of my recent life exposing deceptions connecting dots and discovering the secret places my inner victim is still waiting to be liberated and now I feel called to help you reclaim all of your parts your health your sexuality your power and your expression so that you can finally
(00:41) truly own yourself I want to ignite in you that inner knowing and the pulsing Vitality that lives beneath your disempowerment disconnection and resentment so that you can audaciously courageously and playfully alchemize your struggle into the specific pleasure of Who You Are this is Reclamation radio hi and welcome back to Reclamation radio I am Dr Kelly Brogan and what I love about my containers is that the women I attract always have some audacious questions to ask me so it’s my intention for the musings that I share
(01:18) on these topics to grow the permission field of what’s possible and also to offer relatable reframes that can Jailbreak you from your victim stories so you might notice that I’m a bit more familiar and free when I’m answering these questions in our private spaces so take a listen and I hope you’ll take the opportunity to submit your questions to me in my membership vital life project I got this question from Franchesca do you have any suggestions for how to play with narrating our experiences to ourselves in ways that
(01:51) Empower us as opposed to playing the same Loops the most important premise is to narrate from a place of choice and responsibility which actually means this is happening because I want it to happen because I’m choosing for it to happen why might I be doing that right so I wrote in own yourself that suffering ends where meaning begins how can you meaning make and you can do this in seconds I mean it becomes something you can do very rapidly why might this be happening right that’s called recruiting curiosity right rather than certainty
(02:29) about your victimization so you’re recruiting curiosity why might this be happening and you are in a state of knowing that it’s for you so the kinds of sentences that you say from that place are most likely going to start with the word I right not this or you whatever the focus is like you’re so fascinated by how it is that your internal makeup manifested on the outside in this way that that your sentence would never start with can you believe he or you did this you know I I hated that you did this not that you
(03:06) would say that but you know it’s it’s a focus not out there it’s a focus in here and as you connect those dots there are ways that you can look at your list of things like let’s say you have a list of things you want to experience that you imagine you’re going to experience when you have the things you want to have right the man the money the house the baby whatever it is the woman I don’t know the partner how is that this this thing you hate that happened has actually offered you what it is that you think only comes from having the thing
(03:38) that you want right so remember that example of like you know feeling regarded feeling adored feeling magnetic feeling you know like my openness reflected by this like unwanted advance or whatever you want to call it you know on the part of this you know this this gentleman who normally interact with in a professional capacity How can I identify that there are elements just elements in this that are exactly what I say that I want could be attention you know could be something exciting you know happening instead of nothing
(04:11) happening it could be the opportunity to assert yourself there’s all sorts of Dimensions In The Unwanted thing that are ready for you to pick so explore that and then you would speak from a place of like I mean what I sort of in my mind say is like wow I created this like this is so funny that I created this right I created this thing and it must be because I want to experience this X Y and Z and if you want to take it into advanced practice you will begin to explore what it is that you can get out of this situation circumstance that
(04:47) literally would never be available otherwise like not in a way you can imagine and without getting into like a whole tale and you know I’ll watch myself for how I tell this tale because it’s pretty dramatic in 2020 I became like an overnight a vegetarian adopted animals and chickens and had an unexpected you know sort of Divergence from what had been a very committed ancestral diet lots of red meat kind of a path and I was very very strict about it like to the extent that you know I was like you know I’d be I’d like I’d
(05:17) spit out a piece of like chicken that ended up somehow on my plate in Mexico or what I like literally spit it out and it became almost like a superstitious thing like I could not have the energy of these like harmed an anal in my system like no way no how and I rationalized you know that I have done enough work so to speak that I’ve gotten myself to a place where I no longer need to borrow The Prana of these animals whether it’s adrenochrome or otherwise and I did when I was sick right and I have watched you know red meat the VMR
(05:50) diet is red meat several times a day right I have watched that heal people thousands of people I know that that Diet Works okay so maybe is that sick people need quote unquote you know I put that in quote need to eat that way and then maybe as you integrate you can become a birth Arian at some point right I don’t know I came up with that sort of like theory about it and long long long dramatic tail short I did this water fast last year which some of you if you been in the sovereignty series you might um have seen me talk about it was a very
(06:21) deep spiritual experience my motivation for doing so was really from an energy of like proving that I could do it like this immature masculine and energy like sort of spiritual thrill seeking and like the same reason I was going to do a dark room Retreat this year too anyway so it was really intense I lost like 17 pounds in N9 days and the moment I started eating again I developed like digestive symptoms that I have never had in my life like bloating and just pain like stuff I literally even when I was like full-blown eating McDonald’s
(06:53) Hashimoto diagnosis didn’t have this so that’s interesting and then I needed eyeg glasses for the first time ever maybe coincidence developed like bilateral knee pain which is like challenging to dance with you know so that was something that was really on my mind and then I gained not only 17 pounds back but like another 18 pounds and I’ve been the same size since I was 17 so I knew that something was like my system was like perceiving that as like ongoing starvation like it was really potentially regrettable and I don’t
(07:24) regret pretty much anything because I have this practice of seeing that it had to be this way way it had to be this way and I I looked back on the water fast I was like maybe it didn’t have to be this way like oops so anyway year goes by and I’m like spending this year attempting to explore ways to re-regulate myself okay so here’s the part of the story where I look at what happened and I’m like it needed to be this way okay I move into this house and I start to have an issue so I have chickens right so when you have chickens if you do you
(07:57) know that like sometimes rats can be a thing right so I started to have an issue with rats not in the house but in like the rafters like in the walls right and recruiting help for this like confirmed so many of my stories about like H my situation is so complicated like nobody can even help me got into like this like Financial dispute it was like a very tramatic time okay and I didn’t want to kill the rats so I decided to like psychically communicate with them and tell them this is my place get out like get out and I did that like
(08:33) pretty regularly for I don’t know two months meanwhile like every night my daughter’s and I are like up listening to them like literally run around like run around and I uh attempted to like you know use like mesh through this company to like seal off areas of the house or whatever where they thought they were getting in it didn’t work at all and I got to the place where I found my no okay so I went from the guilt and induced I believe merger with these animals where I felt like you know what it’s okay you can be here like it’s
(09:06) whatever at least you’re not in the house like that energy of you know which also shows up as the caretaker The Rescuer right like that energy of enmeshment that is fueled by a sense of like I owe the animal kingdom something for all the animals I’ve eaten my whole life kind of a thing I came to this rupture where I was like we we’re not connected like you’re not listening to me I’m telling you to go and I became angry and from that place I decided I heard like a dude off of Craigslist just like a guy and I decided that I was
(09:40) going to place a trap okay I did that and it actually was on the roof not even in my house and my girlfriend was actually staying over and it went off in the middle of the night and it was one of the more horrific experiences just like like gruesome okay like the actual like cartoon like screaming like was not okay and maybe I’m doing that thing I’m doing where I’m trying to indu in you how not okay it was in your system because I can’t handle it in mine it was very very like scary and it was like banging around for a long time anyway so
(10:14) I cried for a long time went into this like deep practice of like exploring my pre-existing guilt about a million things in my life because I’ve explored shame a lot but not so much guilt that was interesting and you know my girlfriend was like you know guilt is just the unwillingness to feel another’s pain that you have decided you’ve caused and I was like wow that’s very deep so I got to this place where because now I’ve pierced the veil of harming animals right I didn’t do it directly but I participated in the in the murder of
(10:44) this animal okay undeniably now I was back in contact with the part of me that is willing to harm animals for my own benefit perhaps writing the belief that when I get what I want others are harmed right so I’m always interested in like the meta programs that are being exposed through my experience so because I make contact with that part again I no longer could live in the the delicious virtue of being this like Clean and Clear vessel right not participating in the harm of these beloved creatures any longer and because of that I decided
(11:18) that I was going to do VMR again after 15 years I was going to do my own program because I know that that’s actually what healed me and it will again I know that it will and it ju I just knew that all of this had happened to get me to a place of resolving dogma and rigidity around my newfound vegetarianism and trust me every day so I’m like probably two weeks in to the diet and every single day I look forward to when I can be vegetarian again and I say can because it what I mean by that is you know I already feel better I
(11:54) already feel different my body is already different like I danced this weekend I was like oh my God I’m like in a new body so much stronger stronger and just yeah back online and I will I intend to progress in that direction again because it’s what I want and I will have what I want so that rat scenario needed to go down exactly like that how could I be like oh so annoying I wish it didn’t happen so gross like why are they in my house no it needed to happen exactly like that to close a loop in my own process maybe even bring me to
(12:27) an expanded Place level me up stabilize me so that I can go where I needed to go and I wasn’t going to get there because of choices that I had made so that’s how you know you can condition yourself to look at the shitty things there will be a reveal of like oh my God this is why this is why you know I had that like very um difficult relationship this is why you know I went through that window of you know my kid telling me they hate me this is why my car ran out of gas on the highway you know and as you practice
(13:07) that Curiosity and the assumption that you created this for a reason I mean this is why like you know people tell me that I like shame victims or whatever because nobody wants to especially when it comes to you know so-called mental illness nobody wants to rest into the possibility that their needs are being met through their struggle right and that this is actually what they want the last thing you want to hear from a friend like when you’re in it it’s like oh why are you creating this you know being with the part of you that hates it
(13:36) that wants it to stop is also essential you don’t want to coers that part into like spiritualizing the meaning of it so being with that part but not narrating from that part not sharing from that part you’re like the parent for that part right you’re taking care of that part you’re not going to like give her the microphone that doesn’t make any sense you’re here for her right and then you are the one who is at the helm deciding when it’s time for silence when it’s time for you know narration and how the narration is going to reflect really
(14:07) well on you right Omani one of my teachers says to women that it’s really important for them to speak about their ex Partners in a way that a grandis is the woman right like every single man I’ve ever been with has treated me like a queen that’s actually true like for me personally that’s actually true and it’s also true you know that there have been many layers of dysfunction and unfulfilling connection and thwarted intimacy and you know even abuse right that’s also true but when I narrate from that place and I
(14:40) speak about my romantic history not like oh the toxic thing I’m getting over and the narcissist that and when I speak from a place of I’ve had legendary romances in my life I get to be that woman right I am that woman then who has legendary romances like yes yes that’s yes I want to be that woman I don’t want to be the woman who attracts like you know dysfunctional Partners who treat me like and over and over and over again in my pattern like you know the fetishizing of the narcissistic codependent Dynamic on social media and
(15:14) in so much of the sort of shadow of our trauma focus and awareness when it comes to you know pop psychology and self-help is does not serve our empowerment absolutely does not it might feel good you know to watch a video about like how to get over your narcissistic ex but there’s also videos that say like every single woman right now has a narcissistic X right so like there’s something to how we are sourcing energy through these stories and you know you probably know the phrase Lou ritual that I like to reference because that’s what
(15:47) it is when you’re in your victim you need to induce that in other people so that they feel the thing you feel and then the energy is propagated whereas when you know like you got your unlock like you tell people you don’t or you you know share from a full cup and somebody could be like oh that’s cool or like oh my God that’s amazing and it doesn’t matter right you you you don’t have that parasitic Dynamic with the response and reaction on the part of the people in your life that you’re sharing with here’s another question on the
(16:21) topic of reframing thoughts from Renee what are some examples of how one can discharge the need to be heard through a story that may sound like a wine a complaint or victim me for example I got in a bicycle accident and it was pretty bad and I would explain my need to be tender with my body to my husband and son is it being in complaint to speak of my accident to remind them of my need for tenderness so first of all my intention is not to make all of us myself included like feel scrutinized under a microscope and in constant
(16:54) surveillance and Judgment of whether or not we’re doing the thing right that’s just placing the virtue somewhere else that’s not the idea so remember that the primary commitment is to being with yourself in your experience aligning with yourself and why it is that this is happening why it’s that you might want this to be happening that’s the goal right so the goal is not to get an A+ on speaking without victim language and and again I say that to myself too it’s just that when we do that we think it feels good but it’s like licking an ice cream
(17:32) when you’re thirsty for water it definitely does not feel as good as the practiced Attunement to like I accept that this happened and I am moving from that place of like this sucks to understand you know better why I um why I want what I do because of it right so what I hear is in this example you discovered that being tender with your body that’s like very special language right so you’re not even saying like I want to take it easy or I want to be careful it’s like you want to be tender with your body right so there’s there is
(18:12) a reason that this accident afforded you the awareness of that desire which was pre I would argue pre-existing right that desire to be tender what is it to be tender with your body well you know if you have a husband I imagine you would for him to be like tender with your body right to to touch you in a very attuned way to read what your body needs and provide exactly that kind of contact the best way to secure that in Dynamic is to offer it to yourself would you have done that offered that to yourself without you
(18:57) know this opportunity would you know to even ask for that you know from others without this opportunity maybe not I think that’s a lot of why we have accidents and get quote unquote sick acutely is so that we have an opportunity to claim what it is that we don’t feel entitled to ask for otherwise from ourselves or other people which is attention and caretaking so that’s beautiful I mean that to me that’s like you’re you’re already in the space of like here’s what I want because of this and I’m aware of it and I’m going to ask
(19:32) for it modeling that for your children I don’t know that there’s anything more important than that you know that they see you know here is what mama needs for self-care and she knows how to ask for it and not in a way that’s necessarily of course like attached to it being delivered right like again you could get into more sophisticated asss like I would you know I would feel really supported and like I had this moment to to just be gentle with myself if you all would remember you know that um I don’t want to be taking out the garbage or I
(20:07) don’t want you know get specific about what it is that you want what it is that you’re asking for are you willing to do that for me right so I think that is perfect example actually of how it is that you are not focused on the unsolvable problem that has been presented to you you’re focused on what it is that you want and now you know that you want that you probably want already before thanks to this like seemingly unwanted thing happening right okay so let’s see I will take one more for a few years now I’ve been using a
(20:37) flower remedy set by lotus way called sacred awareness I use the Mist on my face the oil as a perfume it smells so good and the elixir in my matcha you may have heard me speaking about how I’ve been maturing my inner caretaker rescuer and savior and really seeing the shadow in my desire to change the world and be the perfect holistic mama with the support of this remedy set I’ve seen deep changes and Liberation from controlling anxious martyy energy inside of me and permission to be a different kind of activist so if you’re curious
(21:13) about what remedy could subtly and powerfully shift you into deeper more coherent energetic States head to lotus.com and use the code Kelly 15 for 15% off the link is in show notes for you and one more from Mariah I am struggling with cynicism and pessimism about the future generally how do you deal with knowing about world events and maintaining a positive outlook regarding the future that doesn’t feel forced or in denial this is the ultimate question and one that I think you know the shifts that I’ve undergone I would say in the
(21:46) past year and a half I’m going to respond in in a way that is like informed by my personal process because I know that the answer to your question universally is you Orient to the present your lived environment right so I remember in Peak plandemic you know sort of root chakra destabilization I recognized that if I actually Orient this is a somatic experience like Peter LaVine thing right like if I actually Orient meaning like I take like engage notice of my environment I look around the room I like to notice something
(22:22) beautiful because it helps me to actually like really tune in and not like think about something else while I’m doing it so I I look around and I Orient to exactly where I am I move my eyeballs in their sockets right I am in a space where I’m actually physically safe and everything is okay that may not always be the case however in this moment and in most moments that I found myself moving into this metaphysical space of Terror you know nihilism of you know contact with death and destruction right when I found myself moving into that space I
(23:01) would Orient to the present and remind myself that right here right now I’m okay I’m okay because what I’ve learned about what’s going on in the world right when you feel the need to share something like that it’s because you need to discharge this is what I think it’s because you need to discharge the negative Sensations and fear inside of yourself and induce it in somebody else so you that you can share a feel so that you can commiserate so this this Consciousness it’s like it needs to be fed right it needs to be fed versus like
(23:38) a sovereign Consciousness which is like I’m doing me I’m living my life and if you like it great like that my cup runneth over enjoy like whatever comes your way and if you ask me I’ll share this is very different it’s like here is like a hot potato of of negative energy so one of the ways that we can maybe the Cardinal way that we can evolve and alchemize this phenomenon is even for moments like allow the buck to stop with you so when you encounter something horrible that’s going on out there what they are doing the anonymous
(24:17) they are doing right and maybe you take a moment you Orient around you recognize that there’s no they it’s all individuals right so you’re just going to interact with the individuals you need to interact with make your choices but you still have this feeling like wow we incarnated in a really up place you know and I don’t know I I told some of you in a previous call that I read this book called exit the cave and it’s pretty dystopian right like it’s like we’re trapped in this realm and it’s a realm of suffering and death and
(24:45) destruction just look around look at the animals killing every other animal and you know do we even know anybody who’s actually happy and we’re all pretending that life is beautiful but it’s actually just you know a struggle and then you die kind of a thing and then go into the white light so you’re recycled right so like that kind of thing right so we can get into this place and whatever comes of that nihilistic existential angst especially if you have children like this sense of like what is happening here like why am I here this is a mess
(25:15) it’s getting worse and look what they’re up to and they’re just getting started and you know I’m going to be in a goog in a year and you know watching everyone I love you know be dismembered in front of like I don’t know what you can hold whatever comes up inside of you in your body you can handle it I know it right so you would take 90 seconds maybe a minute and you would sit with the storyless sensations in your body if it’s too intense and you go right up into your mind which is what I tend to do you can pendulate so you can spend 10
(25:54) seconds of your totally focused laser beam awareness on the sensation in your body that comes up you stay with that sensation and then you find another place in your body that’s totally neutral and you move to that place and you go back and forth about three rounds that’s it and it will shift it will shift in that time and then you can begin to really assess your behavioral choices right so part of the efficacy of news media is the way in which um there is a learned helplessness that’s a psychological term that is induced there
(26:32) is an experience of futility that is an essential ingredient in population control and it’s real futility like the likelihood is there’s actually also because there are like pretty much no trustworthy Charities like there’s there’s very little you can do about the anonymous victim so how do you assess your choices and what behavioral action you can take in your lived experience I think the most powerful action you can take I call it remember enter through the upset to do exactly what I just said and you take these moments to grow your
(27:08) capacity to hold without needing to pass the potato without needing to grow the field without contributing this is what I did as an activist for 10 years this is why I don’t post this information any longer I don’t feel that it is my highest expression to fear-monger around what’s what’s wrong in the world and the last gasp for me was a thank you body rally right because I shifted and I said listen if I’m going to do anything I’m going to disrupt in a positivistic way because otherwise I am perpetuating that
(27:40) victim Consciousness that says you out there should be doing different things than what you’re doing like I don’t have control over that I have control over literally no one else but my behavioral choices and I have plenty to clean up right here like endless amounts of to clean up in my Lane every day every day in my real relationships in my real you know self Allegiance in my experience of my lifestyle choices right if I stay focused here if I tune this instrument then my intuition is going to be on fleek and I want to know exactly
(28:16) what to do exactly when to do it doesn’t that sound good that’s actually why I stopped drinking like at all socially was because I am very very interested in having like like like superpower level intuition and I have noticed that there’s even more available and I know some of you out there are I mean my best friend is Clair buyant right um have tapped into these gifts right the long and short to your question Denise is sit with the feeling just be with the feeling be curious about it right be curious about the sensation and grow
(28:51) Your Capacity to sit with it because the story that you’re telling about the world right now is the same story that I’m telling and it’s the story of of you know shattered innocence right it’s the story of the fall right it is the story of our broken childhoods right it’s it’s an old story and it just happens to be taking this particular shape in this particular moment and that’s why one of the most powerful things you can do is to simply not take the bait of imagining that this horrible bad thing is happening to you in your powerless
(29:29) helpless independent state because it’s not true so when you oriented the here and now you will begin to perceive the choices that you actually have and to develop Mastery in the realm of choic making because that will confer the sense of safety and from that sense of safety will come the capacity to observe what is beautiful what is perfect like the Buddhist smile of I couldn’t have possibly designed this better like this is really extraordinary and the knowing that you could be playing any of the characters involved you’re not actually
(30:03) Superior to anybody else including the so-called bad guys even if they’re not even humans okay like whatever they’re figment in our personal you know projection not to get like you know too metaphysical about it but the the humility that we can access when we uh oriented here and now and we recognize that we only are responsible for what’s in our immediate environment and our real Rel relationships and our lived life cleaning that up is very empowering and through that experience your system it’s called neuroception right your
(30:38) system will allow you to accurately perceive what is in front of you because there’s immense Beauty in front of all of us I mean literally like I can look at my hand and be mesmerized for hours right I’m just just my own human body is a masterpiece and let alone like my kitties and front of me and like the color of pink on my couch and like the light coming through the leaves and right so we can’t perceive that it’s like I I talk about like if there’s a pile of laundry on the chair and you’re seeing like an intruder in your room at
(31:11) night you’re you’re gonna respond right and you’re going to freak out but if you can accurately perceive that it’s just a freaking pile of laundry like you can stay with yourself and not self- abandon to accurately perceive you have to convert safety to your system and it’s it’s very accessible to do that so orientation enter through the upset and feel the feelings and really assess whether there are any choices or behavioral actions that you can engage like in your lived life so people love to ask me questions and I love to ask
(31:44) questions of others because inquiry is play but some of my interviews and answers are too hot to handle for Reclamation radio so in my membership vital life project I have created a private podcast that gets delivered to wherever you listen to podcasts where I answer your questions that arise because of my provocative subject matter and I also share interviews that might otherwise be censored that I call the sovereignty Series so you’ll get access to these private podcasts and a private chat by joining my membership vital life
(32:17) project I’ll see you in there
