(00:00) I had this like life experience and this job and this like that I had worked my whole life for and that I thought was going to you know make me happy was going to do all these things for me and yeah it didn’t it really didn’t and so I had worked my whole life for that planned my whole life for it prepared my whole life for it like I went to dup law and I got this job and I had this really prestigious job and my life on paper looked so perfect it looks like had everything that I wanted and I did have everything I thought I wanted but I was
(00:35) deeply unhappy and so I left that job and I did something that I don’t know if anybody at that firm has ever done which was I left that job without any sort of plan I had no idea what I was going to do but I wanted to know like can I have a different experience of Life how can I appear to have it all and be so deeply unhappy how can I appear to have it all and be so deeply unfulfilled hi and welcome back to Reclamation radio I am Dr Kelly Brogan and today I have on carara Nicole Batar who is an attorney turned founder of manifesting blueprints
(01:17) where she reads and assesses how aligned you are with seven different polarities that explain human behavior and the patterns that we find ourselves in in how you can come to know Express and experience yourself more authentically so as we go through each of these seven descriptive polarities you’ll be able to listen and find yourself in there and you will learn how to know if you are somebody who should be using a vision board at all whether it’s a problem that you tend to focus on what it is that you don’t like about a situation and whether
(01:59) you’re somebody who should be focused on finding other people just like yourself or whether you actually Thrive being around people who are nothing like you at all so these are just three examples of how it is that you can come to understand yourself better through the manifesting blueprint we’re going to explore today welcome Cara to the show Kelly thank you so much for having me I am so happy to be here I would love to talk today about one of the most fascinating rubrics I’ve encountered for understanding the habits and patterns and like
(02:40) repeated reflexes that we have as individuals that we might otherwise pathologize right or that we might otherwise see as problematic or even try to like fix and take courses and hire healers if we don’t understand how to own these dimensions of ourselves and also leverage them right so a little bit of a backstory is that you have developed a framework for understanding people’s gifts and talents and the way that they express these different dimensions you call them polarities right and today we’re going to go over
(03:18) seven of those because as we explore these everyone listening is going to be able to find themselves in this spectrum but your gift is to be able to help people see more clearly where they fall in the Spectrum and where they kind of belong like where their Essence belongs right so you call it a manifesting blueprint and funny story about how we know each other is that you came up to me in a a restaurant what was it like a week or something after you had sent my office and email okay so so that’s a good manifestation
(04:01) right like that’s that’s proof of concept and yeah I’d love for you to to share a bit about like what it is that you wanted me to know in that email because you you come from a similar background to mine in the professional sort of like you know Alpha woman career world and you’ve also taken quite a radical left turn and you wanted me to know about what it is that you offer and since availing myself of your services says I am obsessed I just think it’s absolutely brilliant because of how much shame can be drained from the field when
(04:37) you own these aspects of your personality and these ways that you tend to be in the world and of course I’m a psychiatrist I’m a pattern recognizer right so I am already looking for patterns I’m already watching how my girlfriend interacts with the waiter versus how I do you know and how she feels after a week of not going out you know versus how I do and how she handles her work projects versus how I do and the tendency is to think one of us is Doing It Wrong versus to understand that there are ways to more fully align with
(05:10) and then Express like who it is who it is that you are so yeah I’d love for you to even just share with us like when you emailed me how it is that you thought to invite me into your world and a bit about that yeah so you did kind of allude to this but I used to be an attorney so I practice high stakes corporate litigation at one of the largest law firms in the Northeast and I had this like this life experience and this job and this like that I had worked my whole life for and that I thought was going to you know make me happy was
(05:44) going to like going to do all these things for me and yeah it didn’t it really didn’t and so and I really I had worked my whole life for that planned my whole life for it prepared my whole life for it like I went to Duke Law and I got this job and I had this really prestigious job and my life on paper looked so perfect it looked like it had everything that I wanted and I did have everything I thought I wanted but I was deeply unhappy and so I left that job and I did something that I don’t know if anybody at that firm has ever done which
(06:20) was I left that job without any sort of plan I had no idea what I was going to do but I wanted to know like can I have have a different experience of Life how can I appear to have it all and be so deeply unhappy how can I appear to have it all and be so deeply unfulfilled and I did like yes I did corporate litigation but I also did work for victims of domestic violence I did a lot of that so I did a lot of things that were like high level plus you would say we really meaningful and so I embarked on this journey really and I had no idea what
(06:55) would transpire where I would end up obviously had all these fears about where I where I would end up yeah it felt like a long journey I was super committed to it I had a lot of dark moments I tried a lot of different things and what I ultimately came to was the reason that I was being like that I was not happy that I was not fulfilled was because I was not being and expressing the truth of who I was I was not being and expressing the uniqueness that I am so even though I appeared to succeed at my job it wasn’t what was
(07:26) ultimately expressive of me of my uniqueness and we are unique beings and so once I started to like realize this there were numerous different kind of ways that I realized this but once I realized it and I started then to understand okay like how do I be and express the truth of who I am like how do I do that and I realized that there was not only ways to do it but there are effective and efficient paths to it and so from that what has transpired is my current business and currently what I do and in the whole journey of what I was
(08:02) doing I listened to a lot of podcasts and one of the podcasts I listened to was had you on it and I was like the first time I heard you I was like who is this woman and I have never met anybody like you I’d never met anybody who was saying things like you and I was just so incredibly drawn to it and then also of course drawn to that yeah we did have somewhat similar backgrounds and that we were both very much in this like very like education you know the doctor lawyer right like those are considered like these two kind of prestigious
(08:37) professions and so listening to your podcast I just so resonated with you and everything that you were saying and everything that you were putting forth and I like and then it was like probably at the time I really did think I was like I wish I knew her and I wish we were friends cuz I had never met anybody like you and didn’t have anybody like you in ever in my circle of friends anywhere and then we ended up moving to Florida and I just had this like I’m going to email her and I’m going to offer her what I like something that I
(09:08) do because I think she would love it and I also just wanted to express appreciation to you and so that’s what I did I emailed you a week later I am sitting in a restaurant and I literally like see you walk in quickly it was like a big restaurant and you just happened to walk in like I just happened to be sitting where I could see and I was looking up and I saw you walk in very briefly and I had this moment of like I think that’s Kelly broken and I emailed her like a week ago and now you’re on my podcast now it’s so good it’s so
(09:37) fantastic and so I had a a session with you where we explored your divination I’m sure you have a better word for it but that’s what I would describe it of my gifts and talents and also what you call the manifesting blueprint and the manifesting blueprint is what I would like to break down now because I think that you know if we are here you know in this conversation and in pretty much everything I I put out into the world to expand the permission field to dissolve some of the shame wall that is otherwise keeping these aspects of
(10:15) ourselves that come bearing gifts that come with benevolent intention that are designed for us that keep those gifts arrested then even just listening to what it is that you have you know sort of how it is that you’ve framed the spectrum of human behavior I know that those listening will come to see themselves in a slightly different light and I’ll give some examples I’d love to even share a bit about like you know where I fall in the spectrum because you know if you get sort of the impression of a lot of my personality traits you
(10:50) can sort of you know see how they how they line up with this manifesting blueprint uh framework and then maybe guess or you know people can viously consult with you personally and get a more accurate yeah assessment so so yeah maybe tore us through those seven polarities yeah so just to give a little bit of background on this too so what I really like about this manifesting blueprint is that I really it’s like do you need to have this reading to understand your fundamental nature no you don’t of course you know what that
(11:27) is the issue in our experience and the issue that I’ve seen is that it’s like I like to use a terminology it’s like we’ve been hidden from ourselves so it’s like the truth of who you are is there but it’s like we’re living instead from programs from subconscious beliefs from Collective Consciousness beliefs we’re not living and expressing the truth of who we are in most instances and so in the work that I do it’s like one I want to see okay is there in fact a truth of who we are yes there is and I also like
(11:56) to say like you’re not here to become something you already are it you are here to express and experience that and when you really tap into that and be that it’s like your life will change I have transformed truly I have transformed every single area of my life there is not an exception to this and how I have transformed It Is by being and expressing the truth of who I am and so on this kind of path that I’ve been on it’s like I realized okay we’re not being and expressing the truth of who we are how do we do that okay there are
(12:26) ways what I love about this blueprint is it’s it’s like the best shortcut into like being and expressing you because it lays out so what we’re looking at here this is soul structure so this is what people it’s like you come into this experience with this you’ve always had this it’s actually the most natural place for you to be and so what happens though is when we can lay this out for people with such clarity as this blueprint does then it’s like I feel like now you’re on the fast track it’s like yeah I get this is who I am now I
(12:57) can really own it and you made such a good point which is like it’s so interesting how a lot of with a lot of these it’s like this is your Divine structure this is like this most genius brilliant structure and a lot of people are like criticizing themselves for their own structure oh I shouldn’t be this way I should be like this person it’s like no because you’re not that person you’re you and your structure is so magnificent and so beautiful and the thing too that I really love about These Blueprints is like I’ve done them for
(13:28) individuals but also like for their children for their family members it’s gamechanging and understanding people in relationship why because we are unique beings we are not structured the same and so how these how this works is we start with your gifts and talents which we’re not going to get into today instead into today we’re going to focus on the other piece but how these readings work is they start with your gifts and talents again these are soul level gifts and talents and so your gifts and talents this is like the who
(13:57) you are so when we look at gifts and talent balance What It ultimately is is it’s how you’re structured to receive energy so I think most people understand like you have infinite energy available to you but what they don’t get is you have your own plugs again we are not structured the same and so when you’re utilizing your gifts and talents now it’s like you’re plugged into that infinite energy and so then the seven so you use the word polarity I think that word totally works I use the word comparatives the seven comparatives then
(14:28) these are the how so it’s like this is the who I am how do I really Express that and so we lay that out in seven comparatives in this reading and everyone’s going to fall somewhere on these comparatives and in the reading it’s very precise so for instance we’ll start with the first comparative and the first comparative we have similarity on one side we have contrast on the other side and similarities at the zero contrast is at the 100 and everyone is going to to fall somewhere on the Spectrum and it matters where you fall
(15:04) because we’re essentially dealing with opposites here and so how this plays out is in the reading I actually give precise numbers like you fall at like a five you fall at like a four similarity you fall a 95 contrast those things really matter because they show you how much of that like you you are and so just these each of these comparatives have such depth to them and they have such depth to them in terms of how they apply to like relationship or how they apply to like how you’re like so many things so what I’m going to talk about
(15:35) today is like such a little piece but just to give some understanding of so the first comparative we have similarity at a zero we have contrast at a 100 so similari so people who are similarity if you fall on the similarity side of this comparative you thrive in likeness you thrive being surrounded by people who are like you and in fact people who are similarity what people people who are similarity what they see in others that resonates with in them like resonates with them is actually within them it’s actually showing them what’s within them
(16:08) it’s like so like for instance with you I really resonated with your podcast I really resonated like with you and what you were saying and at the time I was not a coach I did not have my own business like I was somebody on with this journey of trying to figure things out right and but I put myself around people I really resonated with you I really resonated with other people who were doing things similar to you and I didn’t understand why I was spending so much time putting myself around even like through podcasts like
(16:35) putting myself around people like you taking programs what was happening is it was showing me what was available to me it was showing me what was in me that’s why I was so drawn to it and by putting myself around it it pulled me toward it so that’s just a little understanding of similarity now contrast on the other side if somebody is a contrast person they thrive in unlikeness and in fact no matter who they’re around or what group of people they’re with they’re going to look for how they are not similar to how
(17:05) they are different from the people that they are with so how contrast people work is it’s not that they’re in conflict with other people what it is is it’s like they they go into groups of people who hold different gifts and talents than them who are different from them and they bring something to that group that doesn’t already exist within the group so it’s like they’re it’s like somebody who’s super organized going into a group of creatives and bringing organization so it’s like by coming together it’s like you they benefit the
(17:36) whole but contrast people they’re not the people like they’re not going to be like they’re not going to put themselves around people who are the same or similar to them so what I find with a lot of contrast people is I find this really I find this frequently is that they’re constantly like I just wish I fit in I just don’t I wish I fit in I’m so different from everyone like there’s something wrong with me and it’s like no you’re well one you’re always going to look for difference so I don’t really care who you’re around you’re always
(18:06) going to see how you’re different it’s how they’re structured but it’s like no it’s like you you come into something and you bring your difference and that is something to celebrate and so that’s just a taste of like the first comparative and so in the reading we look at where you’re structured where you’re fundamentally structured and then we look at where are you currently showing up based on your actions look at both of those you these very precise numbers on each of those so yeah is there something you wanted to did you
(18:32) want to add anything on that one yeah no I mean I think it’s it’s probably why I call it you know I borrow Francis Weller’s term the community wound and it’s probably why it’s been such a driving force for me I’m a similarity person although I was I believe when when we assessed I was like not quite aligned right so to know what I am and then to know where you’re where you’re sort of showing up but that’s probably why this like soul level drive to around my clan right to build my new family and to share a depth of perspective with
(19:07) those I surround myself with I also have and that’s why I offer you know we offer this kind of a service to other women but I also have had experience my life fundamentally expanded when I’ve put myself around somebody and invested who is you know embodying something that I know I can but am not quite yet accessing right so it’s interesting to hear that also through the the similarity lens yeah yeah it’s so beneficial for similarity people you put yourself around something that just really resonates with you even if you
(19:40) don’t have it it will pull you toward it it works so well it has worked for me when I didn’t even understand any of this absolutely did that for me yeah and yeah for you you’re right so you’re high similarity and you are showing up well into contrast and now though well at least the last time I looked which was it was a few months ago but you’re now in similarity so it’s like these things can shift but and I work with people to shift them but it it it’s like it takes it’s like okay like like now okay now I see I’m similarity I’m Shug up in
(20:13) contrast good to know now I can focus right now I can hone in like there’s an efficiency to it okay and I I know what I can do to move that and then when I do things are going to change for that’s fascinating to me because you know most people listening I’m sure have watched my the evolution of my identity as an activist right and so if I were to enter a room let’s say even three years ago I would have immediately tried to assess how it is that I’m different and I would have experienced you know what I refer
(20:41) to as my terminal uniqueness right like I’m I’m not like any of these people this is horrible it’s existentially painful and I would have focused on these you know intellectual points of contrast right like do they understand germ Theory do they understand cosmology like where is it that we might be different and I would allow myself to get gain access to this deeper sense of like not belonging of rejection of whatever it is that I was working out and as I have explored that I’ve come to find myself as like quite similar to people I wouldn’t
(21:14) otherwise have imagined myself similar to and what do I get to experience as a result of that a sense of belonging like pretty much anywhere I go so you know that alignment I I wonder if you would say alignment with your you know with your uh true Essence is always going to I mean this is kind of a generic statement as I’m saying it but it’s going to feel fulfilling but if you’re in a pattern right like I could I could righteously say well I I’m supposed to find my people right and and so I’m going to focus on the fact that these are not my
(21:48) people and what what it is that we don’t have in common and that life is a turmoil driven and saturated life how can that be the destination like the truth is always beautiful so so it’s like it’s an indication you may not be living in your essence I guess yeah that’s really what we’re dealing with here is that it’s like if people aren’t living in states where they are thriving like I like to say this is the seven ways you’re structured to thrive if people aren’t living in states where they are thriving if they are living in
(22:21) states where they are stressed out deped in states of disease like it’s not because like that is their fundamental nature it’s it’s because they’re not living in accordance with their fundamental nature but they can they can it’s like it’s there and it’s like it’s waiting for them and what I love about this is like you’re right like you were showing up in contrast I was showing up in contrast I’m similarity when I was showing up in contrast and you know it’s like oh that’s actually not that’s just like some programming that’s just like
(22:54) because I kind of had a thing my whole life me I was a litigator I became a litigator I clearly had some sort of thing going on of like I need to convince I need to like right when in truth that’s not where I thrive where I thrive is like I’m with my people and they’re like yeah I get that and I appreciate that and not trying to convince or be in like this distinct kind of like yes let me stand up for the truth when like that’s actually not where I thrive like and how similarity people work is when they come together
(23:21) like that in that similarity the whole it’s like the whole group Rises and so it’s not like you have to kind of like go and fight the battle if you’re the similarity person because you’re not you’re not going to like it ultimately it’s not going to feel good to you there’s something so much more powerful you can do and like I had to realize that too like I different path than you but there’s something going on if you’re a litigator you think you’ve gotta fight right like you’ve got to just like run into the battle and I’m not structured
(23:52) to run into the battle I don’t want to run into the battle I like want to be with my people or like yeah like where whereas like let some of the other people who are more like yeah I want to go in and bring this difference and I thrive doing that right can do that right okay next so the next one we have process at a zero outcome at a 100 and so what this is if you’re a processed person you know Express and experience yourself in the process of what you’re doing as you’re doing it not in your outcome so for a processed person
(24:24) outcomes in many instances they can be negotiable why because they don’t express experience and know themselves in their outcome they know it in their process so for a processed person it’s like what do I want to be doing right here right now regardless of the outcome and the other end of this the outcome people how they how they work is they know Express and experience themselves in their outcomes they’re very outcome focused and so like outcome people for instance it’s like you know we have a lot and it’s like
(24:55) it’s even in the wellness spirituality space we have this like everyone’s the same right make a vision board they’re super effective they work really well get really clear on what it is you want it’s like yeah if you’re an outcome person great do that if you’re a process person that is not gonna do anything for you it’s not gonna do anything for you it’s like I know because I’m a processed person I used to do that stuff and I felt like such a failure I’m like why is this working for everybody else and not for me how many vision boards do I need
(25:21) to make how many times do I like need to try to get clear on an outcome that quite frankly I wasn’t clear on why because I really don’t care about my outcomes that much I’m very focused on the process so again it’s like we’re structured differently so like and like a an another example would be so I’m a processed person I remember so vividly the day I got my law degree like everyone’s celebrating I could not make myself be excited I could not make myself be excit I didn’t care I didn’t enjoy the process of law school so that degree is never
(25:56) going to do it for me and in fact one of the only people in my office who did not frame their degree and hang it on the wall that was how little I cared about that degree but now I understand why well I I don’t know Express and experience myself in my outcomes I didn’t like the process of law school so I mean that degree is really going to mean so nothing to me now it’s not to say for any of these none of these are so extreme so it’s not like outcome doesn’t matter to a process person what it is though is if your process is
(26:26) aligned with you the outcome will be there like you don’t have to worry about it it’s gonna be there and for outcome people if they’re if they’re aligned if their outcome is aligned with them it’s like when I talk to outcome people it’s like look at your outcome is it aligned to your gifts and talents right like is it is it aligned to you or is it based on some sort of should need have to like right but if it’s aligned to them and they really focus on that outcome get really clear about that outcome their process it will inform their process so
(26:52) it’s really beautiful it’s like both matter it’s just a different kind of way that we get there because you Lear structur different yeah and I found this because I’m a process person and I found this to be particularly relevant in the business Arena right because if you’re somebody who is is in the dominant practice of focusing on outcomes right you might focus on the revenue or the number of people you want in your container or you know what it’s going to feel like on launch day or whatever but if the The Experience on the daytoday of
(27:31) that process is unfulfilling or stressful or chaotic then yeah if you’re a processed person that is going to be compromising of the totality of of the journey and that is I I’ve said so many times I’m sure many people have heard me public say that I’m not like a manifestation boor girly like I’ve never been and yet I’ve manifested tons of extraordinary things like how could it be that I never sit down and I focus on you know like the vision even I and it’s because I think I focus on you know what it is like to be me right here
(28:08) right now right and yeah working step by- step towards something rather than protecting myself all the way at the Finish Line fascinating yeah and it’s probably also why the things that I have gotten are sort of like in some ways an afterthought I thought mostly that that’s because I don’t have a lot of capacity to feel the Fulfillment which could be a piece of it but it could also be that that’s not actually what I was ever in it for so again it’s like depathologizing to look at it through this lens yeah it’s true it’s like you
(28:38) know when I would even get outcomes as as a lawyer I’d be like oh cool woohooo and it last like a second and even with my business so this really like this is really pertinent like with my business when I first started realizing oh I actually have something here I actually have something that could like help people people will be like but what’s your plan like how are you going to like how is this actually going to be a business how are you can I like I would at first at first I tried to kind of give something but it totally stagnated
(29:04) me when I just focused on what processes do I are in alignment with me what processes do I enjoy I enjoy coaching people I enjoy writing programs I enjoy right then my business just transpired I didn’t have to worry about the outcome it was going it was going to happen as I focused on the process amazing okay so there’s a lot more I can say about each of these and I and I will say this too so like it’s interesting too with these so most people who are process when I do a reading for them they are showing up
(29:32) outcome that is typical you were showing up process you weren’t showing up as much process you’re like really high process but you were showing up process which I think it makes sense that you were having so much success because you were focused on the process whereas a lot of people I get and who are processed because we’re we’re this Collective Consciousness beliefs outcome totally outcome right like get the law degree who cares what it takes to get it get the medical degree who cares like it’s so outcome focused but most people
(30:02) are who are processed they are showing up outcome I mean it is like the vast vast majority when they come to me they’re their process and they’re showing up outcome you weren’t but again fascinating it makes sense that that’s why you were having so much success yeah that’s fascinating so the next one is internal external so with have internal at the zero external at the 100 so internal people how internal people work is they know themselves through their relationship with themselves so this is not introvert extrovert this is not that like internal
(30:35) people they could be the life of the party when they go out people you know love them gravitate to them it’s it’s not that they’re like shy or something like that it’s not that what it is is how internal people know themselves is through their relationship with themselves they have this really rich internal relationship with themselves like they have a lot going on with themselves and and on the other hand we have external people how they know themselves is through their relationship with others so what external people do
(31:05) is they look out to look back in it’s like oh I know who I am because I’m looking out at you I’m comparing and contrasting myself with you nothing wrong with that and oh by doing that I know me so it’s like external people they’re looking out to look in internal people they’re just looking in just looking in I look in to know myself they have this very very rich relationship with themselves and so with this this this plays out in just so many different ways for people but for internal people they they do again nothing here is so
(31:37) extreme but time with themselves matters that that matters if they spend too much time with other people it will create confusion and with external people if they don’t spend enough time with other people that will create confusion if they just like stay with themselves by themselves they will it will create confusion why because they don’t actually they can’t like they don’t knows that they don’t look out and so of course this plays out in just a myriad of different ways for people and one of the biggest ways I’ve seen it play out
(32:07) too is like for mothers because internal mothers um they’re going to Mother differently again and again it’s like in our experience we have so much of like everyone’s the same and this is how we do it it’s like no for an internal mother how they mother it it will be wonderful but it will look different why cuz we’re structured different you might have a sense that supporting your energetic and subtle body is important but how exactly does one do that like short of scheduling regular sessions with an energy healer how do you do that
(32:37) most of the time I find that when we take supplements it’s from the energy of fixing ourselves and honestly it’s really no different than taking a medication at that point that’s why I love flower remedies and specifically my girl Katie hess’s Elixir from Lotus way the formulations that she creates are so nuanced that sometimes it feels like I wrote the descriptions myself the last one I took was designed to dissolve go go go mentality as well as fatigue weakness apathy and resistance to self-care relatable okay I have a
(33:10) monthly membership called flower Revolution where I get a new and super powerful Ono remedy sent to me every month and it blows my mind how resonant each one is with exactly where I am in my process I think of this as a truly feminine investment that harmonizes my process and allows me to walk talk and interact with Grace you can try it for a month or six at the link below and if you just want to dip a to and to learn more about how flowers heal you can take their quiz amazing it’s also another right because if you apply this generic
(33:43) metric that like oh well i’ spending too much time alone that’s unhealthy right uh you could end up coercing yourself away from what is ultimately one of the you know Soul aligning and rest ing aspects of your selfhood yeah absolutely and you internal people too they’ll have this like well that’s what I should want to do I should want to be in big groups of people like fear of missing out right I should want to do all this stuff and like be around all these people like that’s where all the fun is and it’s like really for internal
(34:15) people you are so into yourself and like you really are internal people too they come to me and they’re like I’m so selfish it’s like you’re not so selfish the other thing too like with internal people is this is interesting but like I said these have a lot of depth internal people when they set intentions the intentions that benefit them are intentions that are about them it’s why they think they’re selfish external people when they like if they make an intention to serve others that benefits them it doesn’t move the DI for internal
(34:44) people internal people what they do is they set an intention I’m setting this intention why it benefits me now don’t worry when an internal person sets an intention that benefits them they’ll benefit others in ways they never could how they’re but it’s again owning how they’re structured so like for me with my business like legit I wanted to do it like I like doing it I wanted to do it I didn’t have this intention of like like saving the world or something you know but what’s happened is I’ve been able to benefit people in ways that I I never
(35:17) could have otherwise why because I’m I’m being expressing who I am really there’s just in the work that I do and it’s like there’s just nothing more powerful you can do than being an Express you amazing so next we have consistent and variable so have consistent at a zero variable at a 100 so consistent people they thrive in repetition and consistency that’s where they Thrive so like in the wellness space we know we see a lot of like you have to have a morning routine you have to meditate for x amount of days and you have to like we have this
(35:46) very that works very well for consistent but on the other end we have variable people so this does not work for variable people because variable people how they operate is like new and different new and different is how they operate they repetition and consistency is not what works for them and so for them it’s like so with variable people I see a few things but it’s like they can commit to things like can I commit to being healthy in my body of course you like of course but it’s like I want to commit to being healthy in my body great
(36:18) I’m going to commit to working out great but it’s gonna it’s going to vary it’s not GNA look the same every day it’s not like if they do that to themselves they will feel so stuck they will feel so stuck but the kind of bigger picture here with variable people in particular is that so like I’m variable and for the first you know little part of my job first few years whatever I was kind of like woo this is like this is like it had my attention it’s like oh this is different I’m like learning all these new things
(36:49) and so even though I wasn’t super into it like that that variable part of me was like oh this is different this is new this is but then it got to the point where I was like oh my goodness like if I have to write another deposition like or like do another deposition or write more interrogator like I’ve done that and I really beat myself up for that like why can’t you you know how to do it now and like some people were super like I know how to do it now right so like now I really know what I’m doing I’m like I know how to do it now and I’m so
(37:15) freaking bored that I don’t know what to do with myself because I wasn’t honoring that like I’m variable I’m not I’m not gonna do the same thing for like the duration of my life not that everybody does but like it’s going to it has to vary for me I’ve lived in so many different places when I had this whole like you know what what we really need need like a home we need like stability we need like that has never happened for me it probably never will why I’m variable before we started this conversation I was just talking to you
(37:46) about how maybe I should move again it’s like this I’m also a variable and what’s interesting in my case is that I think part of my immature what I would refer to as immature masculinity is and has been to prize consistency as a source of identity and you know even self-worth right so like you know I did a preon sodna for five years and I never one day ever miss that like in New York I would like go up in the clerb and like literally get home at 2:30 in the morning and be up at 5: so you know my sense of self became very TI
(38:28) also di you know dietarily became very tied to that consistency and the my variable nature which has always been there kind of like swirling around has ultimately required that I mature that you know more rigid aspect of myself into one that determines in every moment what’s best for me and kind of gets my own back you know which is a different kind of masculine support than those rules right and so I always thought it was like my double Gemini that accounted for my intense you know variability and intense attraction to novelty newness experience
(39:08) and ultimately I mean I have probably like I don’t know 45 morning practices I’m experimenting with at any given time and that’s why I’m you know like a really good curator but to to just drain that sense of like it should be something else from the field is I think why you know your your work is very is very powerful yeah so I was you know I’m variable and I was my whole life I had been so consistent it was like if somebody could stick to something it was like I I could I could do it but it’s just not when I really
(39:41) stepped into and owned like no I’m valuable whoa whoa things got so much better for me life got so much better for me because I did the same thing I was able to make myself do stuff like you said like I could totally do that but it’s not where I was happy or where I where I really like was expressing me yeah so it has an expression date yeah okay so the next one is we have reinvented at a zero Innovative at a 100 so reinventors how reinventors work they collect they collect information and then they take those
(40:15) things it’s like they’re collecting all these building blocks and then they take those and then they make their own unique thing with them and then on the other side well I’m I’ll go back to inventive to give more information about that but other side is innov ative so how innovators work is they’re not collectors like they don’t take a bunch of classes they don’t take a bunch of programs they don’t read a bunch of books like they make again nothing so extreme but what innovators do is they just they just do things their own way
(40:41) they they’re wired for vibrational leaps is what’s happening so it’s like I’m going to create this new thing boom it’s like they jump whereas what reinventors are doing they’re actually collecting different vibrational States and then they’re going to take all of those and make their own unique thing with them so what I see on this piece is again there’s a lot of depth to this but in this experience we have this thing of like this thing is mine and nobody can take it right and we have that even in our current Wellness space like this
(41:16) thing is mine nobody can take it and if you take it I will sue you because been I have litigated those cases for people so understand with reinventors what they’re doing they’re they’re going to take pieces of things if they cannot take pieces of things they will not create anything it’s how they are structured and so what it is for them is like they’re going to take like a little piece of something that someone did here a little piece of thing they heard there a little piece but then what they’re going to do it’s like they’re taking
(41:46) these little building blocks they’re going to make their own unique thing with that will it include some pieces yes it will like just like it it will but understand it’s its own unique thing now reinventar if they’re really off what they will do is they will just straight copy like if they’re not owning their own uniqueness they will be they will just straight copy so if you ever see that happening like have some compassion they’re just off they’re reinvent they’re probably off really and they’re never going to like you know
(42:14) it’s it’s never going to be what you know the other person had but we do have this thing I just I did so much in litigation with that like L litigating you took my thing you took this right it’s like reinventors are going to take bits and pieces so that’s like the thing with reinventors to understand because a lot of things I go with reinventors is like no everything has to be completely mine it has to be completely unique it has to be completely new and it’s like it’s not going to be it’s not how you’re structured you’re going to collect the
(42:38) building blocks and then what I find with innovators is so interesting most innovators are not showing up innovators and I tell them they’re innovators they’re like now I feel pressured to be an innovator I’m like you are an innovator you know how to do this but we have been very trained not we have been trained to straight up regurgitate so in ators are kind of up against something and because they’ll have this like oh I want to do this and they’ll look around and no one no one will be doing yeah that there’s quite a a number of years
(43:06) of indoctrination around regurgitation being the prized skill set in our academic uh experiences as kids that’s fascinating because for I I just did it earlier and for so many years I’ve recognized that my gift is curation I call it curation but it’s like is a is a level of like I can consume just mass quantities of information and sometimes I’ll like pick up a book and it’s like it’s like I recognize it from some other dimension and it’s like I get the book within 10 minutes of opening the cover and then I can deliver an entire
(43:42) dissertation on the book like I’ve had this experience my whole life and all of my work could be described this way and if I were preoccupied with you know needing to have something that didn’t exist before in order to make my contribution valuable I would be in a Twist you know whereas I can really I can really appreciate both the shadow of that well and it’s funny too because I wonder if that’s also why I’m never bothered by people biting my they’re like copy like copying or it never ever has bothered me and I wonder
(44:17) if it’s because I have like a I don’t know like an inbuilt understanding of like that’s what we’re doing but it’s not what we’re all doing and that’s that’s what you help me to see it’s like the the Spectrum right so if there are people who in their Essence are going to feel most fulfilled when they are creating an entire modality like I was like on a reformer the other day and I was like I never studied the origin of of you know Pilates I I think it’s a guy create a plaes anyway whatever but like the channeling of that machinery and its
(44:51) infinite adaptability to different um applications I mean it’s it’s pretty extraord ordinary right so somebody came up with that and I believe that a lot of times these folks are are channeling right so if you are you know an innovator and you don’t align with that like maybe it’s the case that you don’t actually channel the things the ideas that want to come through you like you’re like a chosen vessel seems important to know about yourself right yeah I would say very yeah and you this is really how we’re creating in the
(45:23) world this is how we’re putting out Creative Expressions and so you know for reinventors if like I mean if there I had a reinventoretv so unique and so original and if they don’t get to do that they’re going to be stifled and these most like genius beautiful Creations are not going to get to flow through them and it’s the same like with innovators if they don’t if they can’t own that like I’m going to do something different and no one else is going to be doing it you’re right Kelly it’s like that that infinite
(46:18) intelligence that most like genius creation of theirs it’s not going to flow through them and that is such a travesty if that happens yeah because it’s going going to be unique if they’re aligned it is going that is going to be a unique expression both both ways yeah okay so we now have instigative at a zero reactive at a 100 so instigative so how instigative people work their inspiration you might say for change it just comes it’ll be like they’ll be in this job everything will be going well and be like time to leave it’s like why
(46:54) it just is This Is How They structure it reactive people what they do is they’ll be in a job and their boss won’t be being nice to them and they’re not making enough money and they’ll be like time to leave so what so what It ultimately is is reactive people what they’re doing they’re reacting to the world oh this is like calling for change okay good to know I’m gon to make that change instigative people how they’re structured is they make the change and they watch the world react to them so for instigative people it’s what I find
(47:21) with a lot of them is they’re they’re not showing up instigative because most people want reasons why are you leaving this job give us all the reasons why are you breaking up with this person give us all the reasons they don’t have them they don’t have them it’s like because right and so a lot of times they they’re they’re then trying to go into reactive mode which doesn’t work for them now they’re not actually listening to what they’re being called to and then for reactive people it’s actually a really nice check because it’s like we we have
(47:49) a lot of confusion ultimately as to what we are called to so so so what I work with with people too is like my what I hold is that you hold within you great knowing you know the next thing for you all day every day like you know the path for you and that is like it’s you’re called to it you are called to these things that are for you all day every day we are very confused as to what that is though because of all of the hiding because of all the subconscious stuff in the programs so for react to people they actually have a good check because if
(48:21) they’re like I’m really called to this thing it’s like well if you don’t have any external circumstances or anything to kind of like be like yeah that makes sense like you might not be it’s like a good check so but yeah so that’s how those two that’s how those two are and most people show up reactive almost no one shows up as instigative even when they are like they’re structured as instigative they’re showing up reactive and then the last one we have integrative at a zero exclusive at a 100 so this what this has to do with it’s
(48:47) how you sift and sort so integrative people how they sift and sort is they like they just want to try everything on they’re like o that looks amazing I’m going to like go to this clothing store all these dresses look incredible I’m going to try them all on and by trying them all on I’m going to sift and sort and see which one I do want exclusive people they actually sift and sort by focusing on what they don’t want so it’s like they will go into a clothing store and be like I don’t want that I don’t want that I don’t want that I don’t need
(49:15) a shine on oh there it is by process of elimination now I see what the thing is that I want and so again this matters because we have this thing in our Wellness spirituality space of like don’t focus on what you don’t want right if you’re an exclusive person and you don’t focus on what you don’t want you will be confused you will not know what it is that you really want because it’s it’s it’s how you sift and sort and understand too exclusive people it’s not like they focus on what they don’t want just to like stay focused on what they
(49:44) don’t want they don’t like walk into the clothing store sit in front of the dress and just like I don’t want this dress and then just keep sitting in front of it no it’s like okay I don’t want this dress great I don’t want this one and I don’t want this one and I don’t want this one there’s the one but like um I’m an integrated person integrated people are kind of seen as like the positive like oh we’re the positive right and my husband’s exclusive and before I understood this which again why this matters to understand this I was
(50:11) like why are you like so negative like I really was like you’re so negative what why are you focusing on what you don’t want it was like he SI it’s how he sifts and sorts so now I totally see it I’m like oh he’s sifting and sorting he’s sifting and sorting he’s going to get to what it is he does want this for me as an exclusive is such a permission field because of exactly what you said which is that it has now been pathologized by the new age to identify even let alone find you know value in what it is that
(50:43) you don’t want or like about a situation right and that’s probably always how I’ve operated but if I were to you know sort of swim up the current of this tendency that I have to to sift and sort through identification of what it is that doesn’t work for me or what it is that I don’t want or like then it’s just like such an energy drain such a a leak so I I find it yeah so so helpful and especially those who are listening who can relate like probably there’s like a relaxation into the you know ownership of that like oh I get to
(51:19) just be that way you just almost like feel the energy coming back into your system yeah for sure and that’s what I find with giving these readings is that it gives people a permission just to be who they are and to really own it just like it’s it’s interesting that we’ve been so incredibly hidden from ourselves but we have but it’s like this is there and most people when they get it they even if they’re showing up differently they resonate with it like oh yeah I I resonate with that I can totally see that in myself I haven’t been living it
(51:48) like I see it and so it’s just such a beautiful thing and it’s also really cool to see too so I work with people on these to really go deep with them these numbers will move they will move you can come into alignment it’s not even that hard you know like when you really understand how to do it and I love too that with this we can see the actual movement in very precise ways like it’s like yeah the person feels that they’ve moved but it’s so fun too to tell them oh yeah like you’ve totally shifted it’s like a celebration like yeah I know it
(52:21) but it’s really cool to see that that I that I have like there’s clear evidence for it yeah and in my you know experience in this transformational space that permission granting is a huge part of the facilitation of that alignment you know and it probably does happen effortlessly after you understand and remember like who it is that you are in your essence I wonder if some people might be thinking you know okay well how does this rubric compare to you know anagram or human design or uh these other I would say more elaborate in
(52:59) terms of their complexity at least in my experience Frameworks for understanding the self do you see it as complimentary do you see it as like an alternative yeah I mean I think they can they can be complimentary um I have had numerous clients who have had like I actually studied human design for a while and so I have had numerous clients who have who you know have their human design and so I think again what it boils down to is like this really speaks to me because to me it’s clear it’s precise and there’s
(53:32) an efficiency to it and I really like that and it really that really speaks to me and so I think you know we’re we’re structured different and I’m really about efficiency I’m really about like you know and to me this is clear practical and efficient that’s why I really like this but I think they certainly it’s not like people who have had human design and then come do this or then confused that is not the case at all in most in every instance really that I’ve had with experiences with people like oh I can see how this kind
(53:59) of oh yeah this is I can see how this complements this or I can see how this is this and also had somebody recently get some other reading that I have never heard of and her gifts and talents essentially Were Us utilizing like similar word like it was so like yes and I think what It ultimately gives is confirmation of like you do have a fundamental structure you do have it and there’s all these different ways that we can kind of look at that and understand that but you have it and it’s there and it doesn’t it’s not like these it’s not
(54:31) like people are coming and they’re getting differing you know in something that’s in Conflict that’s not happening it’s like oh and someone told me this or I can see like it’s it’s why because it’s you it’s you and it’s your fundamental nature and it’s your structure yeah I remember early in my clinical practice it was probably I don’t know like the dozenth time that I received this same feedback from a patient who was ready to you know graduate in into the world you know having liberated herself from the the
(55:03) clutches of Al apathy and she would say I finally feel like myself you know or I feel like I’ve come home to myself and I marveled at that because I especially at that time assumed that we all kind of wanted to feel different who wants to feel like themselves right and that is I Now understand the defining you know nature of this journey that we’re on it’s like arriving in your own skin and feeling your own aliveness is is that is that call it’s the deepest longing and yearning that that we have so to remember who it is that you are and to
(55:43) have the permission to actually own and embody that seems like it it will be the case that people recognize themselves it’s almost like right like it’s like looking in the the reflection in the pond or something and seeing yourself a way that you weren’t permitted to through your own programming you know yeah it’s amazing how we have like rejected like in in many instances hidden ourselves from who we really are and and everything I do is towards that being expressing the truth of who you are and it’s so interesting to me
(56:14) because it’s like we have some confusion as to where we’re at and why we’re here it’s like some people think like I’m here just to survive or some people think they’re here just to compile all these external things or they’re here to compile all these accolades or or a lot of people think they’re here to prove their worth and value that was me was all about proving my worth and value like that was my like you know that was that was why I was like that was like the game I was playing like the prove your worth and value game and that game
(56:39) does not go well because you’re already are worthy and valuable so that’s that’s like that you’re going to be chasing that like carrot stick forever but what I’ve come to understand is it’s like if we want to look at this it’s like I would say it’s like you’re here to be and express the truth of who you are that that’s like that’s it and that the truth of who you are is going to call you all day every day and it’s never going to stop and so if you ever think that like I’m going to compile all the there’s GNA be enough things that I’m
(57:06) going to compile that somehow that’s going to go away or somehow I’m G to like feel good or somehow that’s going to do it for me like it never did it for me and it never was going to but now that I’m like on this like my priority is to be and express the truth of who I am again like I it’s like I’ve lived two lives in one lifetime like I I can’t it’s like I don’t even hard to even recognize who that was like before I also think too like if I wouldn’t have made this a priority like I could have missed all of this because
(57:36) this life really is this most Exquisite beautiful experience like if you if you see it and like I just feel like I could have missed all of it I could have missed all of it and but I I’m not so yeah I just agree with you like there’s just like this is where it’s at be and express the truth of who you are and there’s just such Brilliance and genius and Beauty in that yeah it’s there it’s just like waiting for you yeah and understanding struggles and symptoms as an invitation to align with that right versus like some sort of external
(58:08) problem I mean it becomes all the more obvious that we must struggle when we are you know living in contrast when we’re actually similarity right like that is the invitation to to realign it’s not meant to be any other way you’re not supposed to rest comfortably in a false identity uh so yeah it’s it’s so powerful I love this and I would love for folks to know you know how they can go deeper with you what you’re offering these days and we’ll make sure of course that the the links are in the the show notes Cara so
(58:40) let us know that yeah so um Can can connect with me at kar.com also carbar on Instagram and yes if your listeners would like one of these readings of course I highly recommend it you can use it for the rest of your life and there’s such depth to it I cannot imagine not having this myself I cannot imagine not having my husbands my moms my brother like it’s like it’s so just so beneficial and so I offer these readings to people and then also too what I do is I take these readings they’re a piece of what I do they’re not all of what I do I
(59:18) take these readings and I I utilize them in programs I’ve created so that we can really go deeper with them and you people really like it’s like yes this this in and of itself so valuable and then I take people even deeper with it so it’s like how do we really move these how do you really own these and embody these again efficiently effectively because I’ve done it with so many people now so I do that within my programs but yes people can connect with me on my website we have a special offer for listeners of your community for this
(59:47) reading and I would love to connect with people in your community I have been so fortunate to have gotten to be in your community connect with other people in your community it has been such an absolute Joy like really like it has your the community that you have is just so so wonderful it’s like it nourishes my soul to come together with people in your community is so wonderful what you’ve done so I’d love to connect with anybody in your community I also offer like complimentary calls so yeah just like connect with me reach out to me oh
(1:00:22) so good I love that and yes somewhere in that uh in that assessment is one of my gifts that is to attract Extraordinary People for sure into my field yourself included I’ve Loved this conversation and I’m just delighted to bring this into people’s awareness and and of course certainly um encourage anybody to go deeper with you because this self-discovery process is is something that pays infinite dividends in the in the realm of belonging right to to to ultimately offer ourselves the the permission to inhabit this vessel to be
(1:01:00) on this plane and to claim our own lives so thank you car for your work for your journey home to yourself and I will speak to you soon thank you so much Kelly [Music] you
