(00:02) we have been duped by feminism sexual Liberation and anti-depressants we have been told that we are powerful and free now as women but we feel tired wired and bitter we’re mostly eating right exercising and meditating wrangling to-do lists and arranging playdates and yet there’s a haunting hollowness beneath the huge complaint what if I told you that there is a huge Storehouse a reservoir of energy inside of you that has not been tapped that you could feel light and pulsing excited and alive in ways that a wellness lifestyle
(00:49) cannot deliver that you could trust yourself that the world could feel safe and that unexpected and expected Delights could start to illuminate your path no coach therapist doctor or Guru required just you learning to get real present and attentive with you I feel like I’m here to matchmake your inner parts for the greatest love affair ever written I want to help you learn first where you’re buying eggs from the hardware store which is the source of all pain I want to help you master entering through the upset which is the
(01:27) only spiritual practice You’ll Ever Need and to get real comfortable putting on your villain Crown which is in my opinion the key to True power and then you’ll attune to your inner yes so you can live the life defined by the specific pleasure of who you are I am so excited to announce my latest book called The reclaimed woman which is available for pre-order now so if you head to the link in show notes you can learn more about bonuses events and companion offerings and I cannot wait to see your gorgeous face on the
(02:07) [Music] path I’m Dr Kelly Brogan you may know me as a New York Times bestselling author of a book with an exploding pill on the cover Renegade psychiatrist, pole dancer, or honorary member of the disinformation dozen what can I say I’m a born provocator I’ve spent most of my recent life exposing deceptions connecting dots and discovering the secret places my inner victim is still waiting to be liberated and now I feel called to help you reclaim all of your parts your health your sexuality your power and
(02:44) your expression so that you can finally truly own yourself I want to ignite in you that inner knowing and the pulsing Vitality that lives beneath your disempowerment disconnection and resentment so that you can audaciously courageously and playfully alchemize your struggle into the specific pleasure of who you are this is Reclamation radio a soulfire production hi and welcome back to Reclamation radio I’m Dr Kelly Brogan and I am here today to talk Health Reclamation with one of our Vital mind Reset Program grads who just happens to
(03:27) have the same name so welcome Kelly Cibart we’re going to dive into a conversation it’s like the meeting of the Kelly’s talking about getting off a thyroid hormone in this lifetime and more and I’m really really honored when she submitted so she’s not my patient not my client of any kind and I’ve just had the pleasure of interacting with her initially through her testimonials and through our community and it has just been a pleasure I watched your testimonials and like GAA out loud is so
(04:01) hilarious and so poignant it was like this incredibly pleasurable combination of like sentimentally inspiring and also like deeply comedic so your charisma is something that needed to be fully realized unlocked and vitalized in this lifetime and I’m just really honored to have played you know any part in that process so welcome Kelly thank you so much Kelly thank you for having me all right so you know that I am very very interested in the archetypal Journey right so this mysterious path that we are sometimes
(04:36) invited sometimes catapulted onto and sometimes largely avoidant and inrent to almost for an entire lifetime home to ourselves right and so young talked about this as the individuation path and and what it is to like finally recognize that the way that you’ve been living is not your choice any longer and you want to exercise the power of your choice to create a more pleasurable experience for yourself or at least a more real and alive experience for yourself and draw from the agency you have you know to to
(05:11) commit to certain portals to get you there so I’ve wondered a lot and I’m interested in what you can share about like the Readiness like why does somebody become ready to change their life and you know we’ll talk about some of the ways that your lifescape has radically changed Beyond just getting off of thyroid medication since working this program and the ways that you chose to engage it but I I would love to know you know like what do you think it was was there a sign was there a crisis was it just sort of a quiet moment in the
(05:48) middle of the night where you were like I’m ready to do something different for myself right with me it was really particular so it’s funny because I knew what the answer was for I think I don’t know like five or six years right I had read your book you know I think in 2016 or 17 or knew about your work and it was a very clear yes to me at the time it was very clear like well yeah obviously this is what I need to do like this is my answer and it’s funny because at no point in time was I like okay let’s
(06:25) start tomorrow it was just kind of like I knew that it was there and I knew that that’s what I need to do and things I think circumstantially are at play here right because at that time I think that if I would have done VMR I probably would have gotten a divorce honestly and I think that a piece of me knew that that it was going to be like a massive thing right it wasn’t just like about my health and then like the divorce happens and you know you get caught up in that and then caught up in new love and like
(06:58) life happen you know life is just going going and in the back of my mind it’s like hey you still need to do this and then you know more time goes by and the little things start adding up that you don’t think are that big of a deal right so I was doing a lot of things that were unhealthy and making a lot of choices that were not cool you know including my diet and drinking too much alcohol and you know my sleep was affected I mean I had this very long list of things that I was you know suffering from all while in
(07:32) reality it was because I was making those choices it wasn’t like I was being inflicted I wasn’t being broken it wasn’t like my body was malfunctioning all of my complaints were directly related to choices that I was making like period And I just started really disliking the way that alcohol was making me feel and I started actually getting anxious when I was drinking and I had this really bad string of panic attacks and it was because you know I started drinking around well not drinking but I definitely was
(08:02) self-medicating in in many ways you know around the age of 23 and on and and that started because of a string of kind of traumatic events and the lack of any kind of of information of what was really going on with me there was nobody in my world that was like hey Kelly I think this is what’s happening and here’s some preventative things you can do here’s what you need to start practicing like right now like that didn’t exist and so self-medicating was a thing and I say self-medicating and I’m also referring to medications that
(08:36) doctors had put me on as well and so lo and behold like you know fast forward 20 years I stopped you know using the self-medicating things and boom my panic attacks are back just like they were when I was 23 which started the self-medicating in the first place because I’d never done anything to change anything or help myself so here they are again and I mean really it was a crisis moment for me that created the Readiness because I had a really bad panic attack and I thought I was dying I mean I literally was like okay my
(09:07) respiration is failing and like this is it this is the moment like you’re dying you’re like dying right now and like you know my husband’s rushing me to the hospital and it’s like this melodramatic thing you know and the next day I was like that’s it you’re done like get out from behind the wheel you’re going to hang out in the passenger seat for a while and someone else is going to make your choices and you’re going to like it like I was kind of like fed up with myself and just very much like that’s it you’re
(09:39) done you’re G to start doing something that is healthy for you now and of course I already had known the answer for five years it was VMR and so it was just kind of a weird coincidence because like that day there was a special for a vital life project and i’ had been wanting to be a part of that Community for like four years and I was like Yay I can finally do VP and then like the next day after that there was a thing for VMR and it was just very synchronistic and like meant to be and it just I didn’t really have time to
(10:13) even think about whether or not I mean it was just a very clear yes like you’re not gonna make your choices anymore you’re done like you don’t get that and VMR is going to make the choices for you for a while so sit back and do what you’re told like almost yeah love hearing about this because there’s almost like The Meta choice that you’re making is to participate right so you are making almost you know some I’ve I’ve thought a lot about you know what is the role that I play in this
(10:43) container because of the outcomes that we’ve seen it’s like clearly it’s not because of me doing some magic in there I’m not even involved we never even met right so what is actually happening and sometimes looking on my own path I think well we have a moment in our self- maturation process where we choose the good parent right like we choose the good Mentor if you will and you know you’re a clinician I know you’ve had this experience you know with your clients and it’s real right so
(11:13) so when I first worked with the naturopath who helped me to learn about a lot of the tenants of you know VMR I gave her that level of authority right but I was the one giving her the authority because I was the one choosing her as like a good mother let’s say right and allowing her to actually like parent me with my consent right so it’s almost like a interestingly like a consensual domination right so I trust you to command me but I’m the one who’s consenting and choosing so in that framework that psychological space
(11:50) there’s so much room for defragging reprogramming and repatterning old ways of interacting within the self in that tense sort of like self- reprimanding self- flating self-punishing sort of energy of like kind of hoping to do better but like failing right so we get into these Kinks of like stuckness so once you decided to do it there are many many people who invest in you know programs who never do it right so that’s very it’s more common than not but you decided to do it so even though you were
(12:29) saying you know I’m just going to be told what to do I’m going to follow orders from a trusted Source at least a source that feels trustworthy right you actually were the one executing right you actually were the one following through and you actually were the one engaging so was that what was that like you know was that difficult did you waver did you have to like whip yourself into shape or did it just you know become what I call chopping wood carrying water like just sort of like okay today we’ll do this tomorrow we’ll
(12:57) do this you know like very basic keep your gaze like just a couple of feet in front of your feet yeah I was definitely chopping wood carrying water it was actually really easy for me I didn’t struggle at all with the like you need to do this and don’t do this part of it and I think you touched on a really important thing which is like we at least for me I immediately believe the things that people tell me who I trust right almost maybe to like a fault I don’t know but so I came into it in a very like trusting way and and it but
(13:28) it’s because of the way that you lay things out where you actually explain why you’re doing things and why you’re not doing things which I think other programs don’t really do like tell me why I shouldn’t eat gluten and what does that have anything to do with my mental health right and so the explanation is all there so you you know exactly why you’re not supposed to do the things that are on the you know no list and then how the things on the yes list actually help so with that explanation I
(13:57) can put intention behind it and that makes it so much more powerful but for me just doing the program in general was very like I don’t know what you would call kind of typ a around stuff like this I don’t know it was like very once I made the commitment there was no room for messing around I mean I did everything exactly like to the tea like by the book and that’s for my own like satisfaction of it right because otherwise I’m like well if you don’t do this or whatever you know I just didn’t
(14:28) want to have that Wishy wash in my head of going well could it have been better or you know if I didn’t have the outcomes like oh is it because I did that one day no like I didn’t want any of that shatter so I mean I totally stuck to the diet I mean even to the point where you know like Cacao is okay you know on occasion and it was like no no cacao no chocolate no turmeric lattes like I’m drinking water nothing but birky water I was Hardcore about it you know stuck with the meditations I increased the meditations you know did
(15:01) all of the journal entry and writing a couple times each so I was very in it and enjoyed being that way like it wasn’t a chore it was so enjoyable you know like going through the motion every day and having my list of things I wanted to do was exciting I thought it was easy to commit to it frankly but maybe that’s just because of the head space I was in I was I was done with myself so it was like refreshing to have somebody else be like do this today I’m like thank you for the love of God you know I love that and I think too a lot
(15:35) about because I am constructed similarly and have you know ease in creating what I would call masculine containers and structures for myself you know exercising discipline and sticking to things and following through however I’ve also been exploring recently like what is the feminine complement to that and what I’ve come to is like I just made eggs for myself right and sometimes I would put the pan and the little bowl that I ate them in in the sink and like deal with it later right however I’ve come to this sort of like self devotion
(16:09) through the relationship to My Future Self right so like how do we behave and choose to behave now that is a devotional practice to the Future Self right like I’m gonna wash the dishes now out of love for my future self right so it sounds like there was some combination because otherwise that like rigidity can feel punitive and set you up for the familiar experience of delicious failure right where you’re like oh see I couldn’t do it again nothing works for me and that whole victim story can emerge almost like you
(16:46) wanted it to right but instead it sounds like there was this like I’m going to create the conditions for myself that are going to feel good feel best on the end of this like the other end of it so that I can look back and say that was an experience that I really co-created so I love that it’s like a helpful very helpful Nuance so tell us tell us what happened you know tell us you know you gave us a picture of sort of the the before right where you were in this place of having actually like you know what could be referred to as like
(17:17) clinical symptoms right of panic and anyone who’s experienced you know what could be described as a panic disorder panic attacks you know Panic related symptomatology know that it’s one of the the few things that can bring you to the brink you know of your own self- betrayal very easily right like straight to the emergency room straight to the Xanax or clopin and so I wonder if you could sort sort of describe right because the program is 44 days there probably shouldn’t be any like major Miracles happening in 44 days although I
(17:47) see it with regularity and honestly I’m sort of shocked every time and there’s like you know a numerology obviously many practices are 40-day practices there’s something to you know that time window that is also enough you know to sort of make a shift to lay new snow on the mountain so you can ski new tracks you know rather than the same old ones so help us sort of see and experience what it was like for you on the other end right so I mean I was very uncomfortable like day-to-day life right I mean on top of anxiety was like
(18:19) depression major sleep problems I mean I wasn’t sleeping pretty much at all I mean if I would have gone to the doctor I would have for sure been diagnosed with irritable bow syndrome my guts were constantly wrecked you know mood swings anger Outburst I was just not okay and did VMR and you know it’s funny it’s like almost immediately I feel you know better Honestly by the end of the 44 days and none of the things that I just listed off were happening anymore I mean I’m calm definitely you know I haven’t
(18:52) had a panic attack since before I started VMR and all of the things I just listed are gone so my stomach is completely fine there’s no stomach issues you know my sleeping is Rock Solid I go to bed at 9 every night I sleep completely through the night wake up happy at 6:00 am with no problems you know I’m not hitting snooze for two hours anymore my mood is just very like even keyed I’m like way higher energy you know I didn’t have any motivation to do anything and my productivity was low just on a day-to-day basis I mean I was
(19:25) just kind of lounging around the couch because I didn’t have enough motivation or energy to like do anything like the dishes even so I you know now I just get like lifts of things done every day and it feels good because it’s it it didn’t feel good to be that way I always was feeling bad about myself so yeah just Everything feels different there’s no you know mood swings I deal with stress differently it really isn’t I I think I was just in such a kind of acute place that just a little bit of something
(19:55) would really you know wig me out and so now I can handle like things that should be stressful and it’s kind of like no big deal the thing about VMR is that you get a massive perspective change which is difficult to describe unless you go through it so it’s the way that you look at all of these things you know getting into that whole victim mindset is massive you know I could complain about how no doctors told me exactly what to do before you know before this like wow this would have been nice to know a long
(20:28) time ago thanks you know like did anyone care to tell me I should stop drinking whiskey but of course that’s that victim mindset right like I knew what to do five years ago this isn’t on them you know so I think I’m like projecting a little bit there but yeah so I you know I things are just completely different I’m I’m even killed everything’s cool nothing really stresses me out yeah and you came off of medication and you you told me that you haven’t worked with any like Pharmaceuticals since right right
(21:00) so my thyroid so I I did VMR for anxiety like I didn’t do VMR for thyroid IT stuff I didn’t you know that was something that came with my fertility clinic doctor right so yeah I got off VMR and then the you know main like measurable thing that came out of it is the blood work that showed me that I had healed my thyroid in this process which I wasn’t even trying to do and then six months later I retook the labs and they were even better they were Rock Solid in the center of like the you know lines of
(21:36) where they should be you know my thyroid could not be healthier right now if I tried to get it healthier and and in the past six months honestly I haven’t been super rigid you know about the diet and whatnot I’ll maybe have gluten D sugar like a little bit here or there if it’s like a special occasion I’m not rigid about it and even with that my body just continued has just literally continued to heal this entire time so that was yeah that was a big measurable thing that happened so we’ll pause here for a
(22:06) message from our sponsor my Signature Health Reclamation program vital mind reset when people have the chance to ask me questions about their lives about their anxiety depression stuckness and their feeling of being trapped in their body and in patterns of struggle I pretty much have one answer my history making program vital mind reset it’s 44 days and this year it goes live on April forth with limited capacity so if you’re ready to reset your story join us at the linkoln show notes and on Kelly brogen
(22:35) md.com and get ready to shed your struggle and step into the specific pleasure of who you are I think I saw a post that you did and it was like such a fascinating breakdown because I know that you stopped drinking and then maybe like had an experience of like intentionally reintroducing I think wine right so how how was that oh my gosh it was cool it was a neat like I called it my alcohol experiment and it was really cool because this is the thing that I didn’t realize going into it that VMR gives you actually it gives you a
(23:12) completely clean slate so that you can add one single thing into your life and know exactly how it makes you feel with none of that chatter going on that’s like well I wonder if it was this though I wonder if it was that factor what are you know all these variables that we have in our life and we can never really narrow things down to like what exactly is making us feel a certain way VMR does that and it’s so that’s what’s really cool is so I was a blank slate so I knew that it however alcohol was going to
(23:42) make me feel was going to be the alcohol there was no excuses it was never going to be something else and in VMR you warn people if you’re going to reintroduce alcohol don’t have more than two drinks and so so that’s what I did so I had two glasses of wine I actually didn’t really want to have the second one because I was so kind of buzzed after the first one but I was like I’m doing two and I’m going to see what it feels like you know and I I just I guess I realized that I had become better socially without it
(24:15) and more confident and I just kind of felt like I was like I don’t know just being an ass you know and I had to kind of like leveled up my ability to socialize with people and I saw a little bit of that trickle in again and was like it made me self-conscious actually which is like the opposite of what alcohol should do right the whole give you courage thing kind of went out the window and I was all of a sudden like am I I was just kind of self-conscious about what I was saying and how I was acting and the big you know I can go
(24:44) into all of the negative you know ways that it made me feel of course for the following two days but first I realized that the whole hangover thing is not a next day thing and I don’t continue to drink because I like the way that it makes me feel like in the moment I actually continue to drink because the second I stop drinking I start immediately feeling bad so I’m not stopping because I’m prolonging the fact that I’m about to feel like for two days right so that was an interesting Insight I’m like oh I don’t it’s not
(25:22) it’s actually had it backwards this whole time I you so that was kind of a cool Insight so yeah as soon as I stopped I mean I almost immediately felt anxious first of all I mean I was really kind of almost jittery within 30 minutes the inflammation in me kicked in and my nose was completely stuffed up and my fingers hurt I had like arthritis almost in my joints and then you know I woke up in the middle of the night that night you know couldn’t sleep for two or three hours I didn’t totally feel super like
(25:55) hung over e the next day I mean I got up and it was fine but you know my eyes were red I was super dehydrated even though I drank my normal 12 glasses of water that day and then another I think six on top of that before I went to bed I woke up with dry mouth and dry eyes like I was literally dehydrated yeah and I you know my head hurt I was foggy headed I couldn’t really think I just felt like I was in kind of this fog so yeah anyway it was like okay well that was really clear on so you know it’s just nice because it’s
(26:31) like okay that’s what I’m signing up for you know I I think that alcohol does really have this like magical way of being it’s like this magical Elixir that really makes us connect with the people that we’re drinking with and it creates so much fun and and everything and I’m okay with that it’s not like I’m in the party of like I’m never drinking again now because I know this about alcohol it’s just that I know what I’m signing up for okay like I want to have this magical moment with my friend and I’m
(26:58) gonna sign up for the next two days boom you know so but it sounds like also Kelly that there sorry to inter up that there was because this is such a deep we could do like a whole weekend on this subject it’s such a deep rabbit hole but it sounds like there was also cognitive dissonance right like as you were drinking and you were feeling more disconnected let’s say we’ll use that word from your native awareness you felt more self-conscious right and I think that that is a part of what we must connect to if we are going
(27:32) to quote unquote give something up we have to connect to something more alluring right we have to connect to a want a desire and something that actually feels more exciting than the fear of loss around the deprivation right so like the the concept of being comfortable in your own skin in whatever environment you’re going to put yourself in now you may not choose right that’s when my I’m in like a hyp sober window of my life like where I’m just honestly super curious to see like what it’s like
(28:08) to be with me when I don’t have matcha when I don’t have sugar when I don’t have alcohol when there’s no substances like no nothing nothing and there are many things that I choose not to do socially that I would have done you know if there was like tequila on board right so you make different decisions and then you relish like that herma awareness right so like when we take a pharmaceutical when we engage in Consciousness altering substances we are surrendering our awareness electively willfully right so like are we in a
(28:44) window of life where that’s even desirable or is it actually more desirable to feel comfortable in our own skin and to resolve that Dynamic with anxiety that can come with the play of of a substance like that and and I feel like really painted that picture of like like all of us listening are like I think you’re good without the drink for now right like right better right better and I I suspect you know that this has been part of the Alchemy of your coming into more erotic connection with yourself what I would
(29:20) call erotic connection with yourself which is right like finding the spaces of you know pleasure in your own Beauty in your own body in your own feminine energy that might not have been accessible of course if you’re living in this like white noise of like a self-medication and Associated disconnection so I think you have gone to a poll class I think I saw evidence of that so i’ would love to hear a little bit about like I was joking you know with my team I was like maybe I should create a program called pill to
(29:54) pull it’s a thing like it’s a thing it’s a trajectory right and it’s yeah it’s because you can create the foundation right for you to get in touch with that ultimate Reclamation which is of your vital force right of this animating energy that is your feminine Radiance that is your sexuality right that is Your Life Energy only after you’ve created the conditions of safety for that to even emerge right so like how has what we just talked about like in any way LED to this experience of your
(30:28) own womanness like in a different way totally just like you’ve said before like your people who go through VMR kind of become like artists right like artists again it’s just that you have time to be creative and you feel inspired to be creative you know I always kind of thought that alcohol was making me kind of be or like have these little outbursts like oh it was just the alcohol talking right but like no I now that alcohol is not a of the you know my world I realized that I just have like really come into a voice and
(31:05) just owning it more than I was before I’m like no actually this is just kind of me and you know maybe I’m a little intense I don’t know but um you know my my energy is there and it’s really who I am whereas before that was all just shrouded and so yeah I just have more time to do the things that I always was telling myself that I wanted to to do you know and dancing has always been for me something that you know songs will inspire me and I just can’t not dance you know and just feeling feminine like you’re saying and
(31:42) of course that really ties back into crediting you on a different posts and things that you make that talk about the feminine and how to bring that out in ourselves and I was actually just in a point where I felt good enough about myself to do that for myself right because before I was feeling so kind of shameful that it was like it wasn’t worthy right so now it’s like no you’ve kind of done the work it’s you’re worthy of this now and you can put on hair and makeup and go out with your camera and
(32:16) like do fun photography sessions and like just reclaiming that kind of like dress up thing you know this isn’t something that like there’s a big girl version of the things that have always inspired us and it just transforms when we’re older and things inspire me now and I actually get up and then go do them when I’m inspired I don’t just sit on the couch and wish that I was doing them you know and taking a poll class is one of those things too and it just feels so good to be moving around in a
(32:47) like very feminine way and having the okay to do that where you know you’re Muses in life and your people are like hey it’s okay and here’s why you know all of that social chatter goes away you know all of the negative like oh but people will think a b and c about you you know no like enough of that that that’s history it’s like absurd and so yeah just letting myself have fun and be feminine and be creative and you know it’s definitely there’s like a huge kind of artsy side to me that was very
(33:22) repressed for sure so it’s like the that Reclamation of play you know can re it’s like you said with the big girl version I mean there’s that inner child permission slip you know to dance to sing to paint you know to create to want to perform you know like when I make contact with my inner child Parts it’s like this little girl in a tutu who’s like hey I’m gonna do a dance for you right and of course that’s like my entire social media account it’s like hey I’m gonna do a dance for you you know and there is sort
(33:55) of this yeah like take the piss out of it to acknowledge and own that as we pay attention to those dimensions of ourselves as we give them permission to come out there is a play with those around us that is you know for the experience of feminine Radiance like David data always says like the feminine requires being witnessed right like that is that’s how it works and it is a seemingly archetypal Journey Like Home to the origins of what got somehow stuffed you know into the shame closet it and like what is it you know for for
(34:30) all of us to begin to take steps in the direction of like following those impulses so I love what you said because that’s exactly what I experience like to me that is how you honor your feminine is to to say your impulses matter and I will create the conditions to hold the space for the you know the inspired action that comes from those impulses whether it’s like making a funny video or going to a class or like creating you know art out of something that has otherwise been taboo you know or painful or confusing and yeah to just sort of
(35:05) laugh with it and and play with it like you’re so you’re so masterful at that energy like bringing that energy of like you know not even taking yourself as seriously as probably I do on a regular basis you know which of course is like gives people a lot of material to work with critically yeah know making fun of myself is like my favorite thing it’s liberating you know it’s to watch and I I just love like what I have I love witnessing this in you and others because it means that there’s like a field for the collective right to
(35:40) step into and that there’s some reason that when we create a framework mentally you said you know whether it was my book or other materials that did that right like a paradigm shift like oh no this is the truth that feels good to me right like I’m not broken I can integrate there is another story story in another chapter for me so you you work with your mind then you work with your body and then you get to experience your spirit right you get to experience the energies that would otherwise be like inverted
(36:09) and corrupted and repressed and yeah and in other like in so many ways like fueling like patterns of struggle and suffering because you know a lot of what Carolyn Elliott talks about is the ways that we get off on our own struggle like literally bodily erotically like it feels good to be like uh he’s disappointing me again you know in that victim role right so like it actually somatically is like the most get off we have in our life like we can choose differently right and it takes courage it takes a lot of Courage yeah and to
(36:46) not get off on doing things that you know you’re not supposed to be doing that was a big one for me like I’m going to you know create this difference right like so like with eating or whatever it is polarity like a polarity right yes so you create the polarity and then it’s like you almost do it so that then you can ruin it you know because you know you’re not supposed to so that was a big one for me too it’s like no you’re gonna stop doing that and once I got out of the habit of doing that it was like oh
(37:14) yeah that was weird like why was I doing that like now I don’t like you know get off on being bad you know yeah making the bad choices you shifted it to like intentional choices and if you’re going to right like if you’re going to make a choice that you know is not aligned with the majority of your thought-based Paradigm then you’re probably going to do it on purpose right and that’s a whole other way of living you know like it’s like if I’m G to make the choice I’m going to do it for the fun of it
(37:43) right like if I’m going to put myself in the position that is you know like if I’m going to have a conversation with somebody I know is not open to having rational dialogue with me and I’m going to go into that conversation I’m going to do it because I get a kinky kick out of it right it’s like almost when you own that then it’s a whole different relationship to even that bad girl and once she’s exposed it’s like do I really want to do that after all you know so things just sort of come into alignment right like
(38:08) your thoughts and your actions are less in that sort of polarized tension yeah it’s amazing so I’d love Kelly to know in closing like what what would you tell someone who really at this point like feels certain that their story is their story right and and you know I know that we can change our story and that it’s almost pre-written in ways that we evolve our story and accessing that permission to sort of like go on the journey is this elusive thing right like it it it sort of happens but it happens
(38:45) when you want it and it happens when you’re ready and it happens when I often have observed like moving in the direction of radical change feels like relief it doesn’t feel like a burden right and so if someone is likewell this is just I got this illness I got this job I got this you know shitty marriage I got this body you know they do that I don’t do this you know if they’re like this is just how it is right like a lot of our parents are probably that way right it’s just like this is the story
(39:16) what would you say to somebody who is really sort of mired in that Consciousness usually I start by going into a huge dialogue about the pharmaceutical industry I’ll spare you that’s where I always start okay I always go into like psycho education on how it’s actually the pharmaceutical industry that’s like created that idea and even like with an example like meditation right like meditation is huge in VMR and I mean I think it’s in my opinion like up there with the importance of the diet like Diet
(39:51) meditation everything else you know and you know why would we if we think that we’re brok you know or malfunctioning and even to the extreme of thinking that the only thing to do about that is to take a pill and maybe even for the rest of your life then why in the world would we sit around for three minutes a day and like put effort into trying to be another way right like it’s like what what a waste of time and so usually there there has to be some psycho education around that of like hey actually meditation is for
(40:22) your mind what working out at the gym is for your physical body this is the practice this is what you do to get to the place that you’re saying you want to be so usually with people like that they have a complaint right like that’s where in you know with my clients that’s where I have leverage like you’re G to come to me and complain about something well guess what like here we go you know like do you want a solution because I can talk about you know how to narrow things down I can figure out what the root
(40:52) causes more than likely I mean I do with people every week and so that’s where the Leverage is within the complaint like what are we complaining about what are we not happy about or what do we wish we were how do we wish we felt do we wish that we’re more calm or happier and More in control of our thoughts less temperamental less triggered by every little thing okay well you know do you want to hear my speech on this because I’m sure I’ve got one you know so that’s where the discussion lies is you know
(41:24) their Readiness is a is a separate topic but at least I can start planting seeds and when you take away the I don’t have control over this this is just how it is and narrative then all of a sudden things get real real real fast and that’s where the Readiness comes out or gets blocked because it’s like oh crap my choices can do something here and can affect this so then it comes a question like whether or not they want to face that and then start moving forward into it right totally yeah the taking of the
(41:57) respons possibility it’s like hurts and it’s scary and it’s like almost like nauseatingly level like scary the first time you’re like oh this is on me this is actually and always has been on me and I don’t get to say this is happening to me I have to I have no choice you know all of these phrases that like are in our daily vernacular sort of go down the drain of this Reclamation process and I I love love you know what you’re describing because it’s very soothing to know that there is a path right like we
(42:34) I didn’t invent the archetypal path right like it exists it has stages and the first step is self-initiation to that already present power right so it’s like clearing the cobwebs and the veils and the gauze you know from before your eyes so that you can actually see as an adult what choices you have and initiate to that and it is necessarily involves you know the death of the the child version that you were so this this portal you know that you move through and the way that you’re representing it
(43:05) it’s like okay whenever you’re ready it’s here and I think that’s why you know I love your story and in you know after my mentor Nick died I really shifted you know on a spiritual level and on so many ways but on a spiritual level to to choosing what feels good in my vocation and my career which is celebrating what is possible and you know you’re such living proof of that and it feels so good you know it feels so good to to Bear witness to your experience because it mean and to share it because it means that others
(43:37) listening now know what is possible and they can’t unknow it and it might ignite something inside of them that creates just enough of that dissonance that maybe one day you know they choose to walk into the unknown of you know this new but also very familiar and old right version of themselves so I’m I’m so grateful you know for your courage for your commitment and for the Reclamation of choice for the slipping into the skin of your own body you know that you’re enjoying and I’m really honored you know
(44:11) to be on this path with you oh thank you so much it’s my pleasure awesome
